


If It Means a Lot To You... {Birdflash}

by BloodthirstyMerc



Category: DCU (Comics), Teen Titans - All Media Types, Young Justice - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Arsenal - Freeform, Birdflash - Freeform, Blow Jobs, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, I forgot how to tag, Kid Flash - Freeform, M/M, Nightwing - Freeform, One-Sided Attraction, Smut, Superboy - Freeform, dc, editing tags as I go, genderfluid tim, red arrow - Freeform, tagging? what do, what is tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-10-27
Packaged: 2018-08-09 06:33:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 24,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7790374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodthirstyMerc/pseuds/BloodthirstyMerc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dick makes the mistake of hiding one too many things from Wally and it backfires in his face badly. Wally does the only thing he knows how to do; run.<br/>Conner makes himself responsible to pick up the pieces and fix up something that never should have concerned him in the first place.</p><p>{this is an AU so I make the rules therefore I am not wrong about anything I write}</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Excuses

_"Is there something else you wanna tell me?"_

_"No. We're good."_

_"Sweet, let's get outta here."_

~  ~    ~  ~~  ~    ~  ~

"Why'd you lie to him?"

They were the first words Conner said after nearly an hour of silence. Even when he arrived he hadn't uttered a single 'hello' or anything of the likes. An hour of sitting across from each other in complete awkward silence and the first thing he does is ask a question, _that_ question as well. It made Dick angry, but one thing he knew was that Conner came from a good place and that he couldn't blame his kindness for being nosy or inconsiderate.

"I didn't want to lose him."

"That went well."

"Are you here to comfort or to rub salt in the wound? Because if it's the latter, you can leave." Dick finally looks up at him, but it's with a heavy glare, eyes bloodshot and tired, still rimmed red from crying earlier. Conner's shoulders sag and he leans forward in his seat, locking his fingers together.

"I thought putting it bluntly helped."

"If I wanted honesty I would have gone to Bruce."

"Sorry. How about you start from the beginning?" Conner offers and Dick's frown deepens and he leans back into the couch, slumping horribly and letting himself sink into the cushions.

"I already told you the beginning." Dick crosses his arms over his chest and averts his eyes to the side again.

"You tried telling me. I could barely understand you over the phone."

"In my defence, I was a bit overwhelmed by the situation."

"Overwhelmed? You know you're allowed to be upset by things right?" Conner huffs and shakes his head. He was trying to deflect, act like everything was fine when he was far from being that. "Look, just help me out here, nice and slow."

Dick rolls his eyes but looks back over to Conner with a huff. "There's nothing to it. A few nights ago we were, well... he wasn't having a good day and I sat him down and asked what was up. I wasn't expecting him to wear his heart out on his sleeve and tell me _everything_. I asked him why he told me all of it and he said it was trust. So I told him everything."

"Except you didn't." Conner cuts in with a firm nod. Dick sighs and runs his hand through his hair as he leans forward again, resting his head in his hand.

"I couldn't do it Conner."

"So what happened then?"

"He asked if there was anything else I needed to tell him, and he looked like he wanted to say something else himself, but when I said no he just ended the conversation. And he still looked like he was going to breakdown." Dick mumbles and keeps his eyes on the ground.

"So what's gotten you so upset about this?" Conner frowns. So far there wasn't anything from this that seemed to have caused Dick to be so 'overwhelmed' with the situation.

"He _looks_ at me differently now, like knowing everything has changed how he thinks about me. He keeps coming up with excuses not to hang out, he's avoiding me. He knows there's something I haven't told him but he won't let me talk to him."

"And?" Conner prompts and Dick looks back up to him with a confused frown, some anger on his face. This was serious and Conner was acting like it meant nothing by asking that.

" _And_? Dude don't you get it–"

"No, there's something else, what's the tipping point?"

"I... no that's it, he's just so different toward me now, I don't know what to do." Dick looks back down to the ground and Conner knows that he's not telling him something now.

"Secrets have a price, you've learnt that the hard way so stop moping and tell me what the tipping point was." Conner doesn't say it in a demanding tone, but it is a demand. He can't help if Dick won't let him.

"There's nothing okay?" Dick hisses and Conner glares his way, gauges him for a moment. It clicks suddenly and his face drops a little with some form of sadness. He doesn't want to pity Dick, doesn't want to make him feel worse about it but it hurts to realize what's tearing his friend apart.

"It's Artemis." Conner mumbles and Dick's shoulders sag and his gaze drops again.

"It's not her, really, I like her, she's not a bad person, but..."

"That's what's frustrating you so much. He's out with her, that's his excuse." Conner curses himself at the way he says it. He can see the way it makes Dick feel to be talking about it and he's drawing it into the light so easily.

"She's his girlfriend, I can't exactly hold it against him."

"But it's an excuse, and that's what's bothering you."

"He won't talk to me Conner, that's what's bothering me."

"And why can't he?"

Dick opens his mouth to respond but falls short. He doesn't want to pin this as her fault, it's not, she probably doesn't even know what's going on between them. It's just so hard to deny the truth in the situation.

"Because he's out with her." Conner concludes and Dick makes a small sound of denial and holds his head in his hands.

"It's not fair to blame her." He whines and Conner rolls his eyes and sits back, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I'm not, but doesn't that sound a little suss? He's only ever out with her, and every time you try and talk to him? He's not out with her, he's avoiding you and you know it but you're going along with his excuse because you're scared."

"I told you if you were going to make the situation worse you could leave. This isn't exactly helping."

"You wouldn't tell me the problem, I had to get the info from you somehow." Conner defends with a shrug and Dick looks back up at him with a glare.

"Okay fine, you have your information, now what?" He throws his arm up and rests back into the couch, throwing his arm over the back and crossing his leg, bringing his ankle up to rest on his knee.

"I'm gonna get the two of you in the same room and you're going to talk to him."

"What? No, that's the worst idea. He doesn't want to speak to me." Dick says the last sentence slowly, sounding out the words like Conner couldn't understand him. Conner rolls his eyes and sits himself up straight again.

"You can't keep running circles around each other. You need to fix this. He's your best friend Dick, you can't seriously want to let him go like this."

"I don't have a choice. And is it right to call him my 'best friend' if he's avoiding me?"

"Just because he's avoiding it doesn't mean he doesn't want to talk. You're just as guilty of dodging him as he is of you. And I'm pretty sure he'd be 'underwhelmed' if he heard you say that." Conner gets up, running his hand through his hair, pulling slightly on the strands. Dick cracks a small smile at that, but it doesn't last long. He gets himself up as well with a defeated sigh.

"So what are you gonna do?"

"I'm going to talk to him and convince him the same thing I just convinced you. He'll be easy to talk to though." Conner half shrugs and Dick crosses his arms over his chest with a huff.

"Rude." He mumbles and Conner offers him a weak smile.

"Don't be surprised if you get a call, visit or whatever. I'll see you later, you can thank me then." Conner starts to make his way out of the apartment and Dick follows after him.

"Don't get your hopes up on receiving that thanks." Dick huffs as Conner opens up the door and turns back to face him.

"Whatever you say. Keep your chin up okay? It'll be alright. I'll see you whenever."

"Yeah yeah. See ya." Dick sighs and closes the door behind Conner as he leaves. He shoves his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants and worries his bottom lip between his teeth as he turns back to his now empty apartment. He knew Conner was right, but he also knew that Wally wasn't going to be coming around his place or calling him anytime soon.

~  ~    ~  ~~  ~    ~  ~  
+  
~  ~    ~  ~~  ~    ~  ~

 


	2. Reasons

Conner will never admit to Dick that he in fact had a hard time getting hold of Wally. It was like he'd gone and fallen off the edge of the Earth or something extreme had happened, like he went and _died_. No calls were returned and every time he showed up at Wally's place, he was never home or never answered his door. It was by chance he happened to run into Artemis almost a week after he met up with Dick. It was almost a blessing as much as it was a curse. M'gann was with her, in human form of course. It wasn't that Conner didn't want to be around her, but well, he didn't really. Martians took to breakup a little aggressively so they weren't on the best of terms, despite Conner's best efforts.

"Artemis." He calls out and the blonde turns her attention to him with a soft smile. M'gann looks his way but it's almost like she sees through him. After he's sorted out Dick's problem, he'll have to think about sorting out his own.

"Hey Conner, been a while."

"Yeah, how you been?" He tucks his hands into the front pockets of his jeans, smiling a little forcibly her way.

"Okay, yourself?"

"Yeah pretty good I guess." He averts his eyes to M'gann and offers her a kinder smile. "Hey."

"Hi." She mumbles and Artemis raises her eyebrows at Conner as the tension sets in.

"Nice glasses. Clark's idea?" Artemis crosses her arms over her chest and gives the raven a lopsided smirk. Conner bows his head a little and chuckles.

"Ah, no actually."

"Clark inspired?" Artemis tries again with a knowing smile.

"Maybe."

"They look good on you."

"Thanks."

"So what brings you around this part of town? Not that there has to be anything, just wondering."

"Actually I've been trying to get into contact with Wally, you wouldn't happen to know where he's at would you? I haven't been able to catch him." Conner would cross his fingers if it wasn't visible he'd be doing so.

"Sounds like you've had as much luck as me. I haven't been able to get a hold of him in a few weeks now."

"Really?" The surprise in Conner's voice is real. Weeks? That didn't add up.

"Yeah, keeps saying he's out with Dick and that he'll get back to me. He hasn't though and it's really starting to get on my nerves."

"Really? Out with Dick?"

"Yeah? Why do you sound surprised? They're joined at the hip and everyone knows it." Artemis chuckles and Conner hums like he agrees.

"Guess Blüdhaven's my next stop then." He mumbles and Artemis shrugs.

"Sorry I couldn't be of any help. It's almost like he doesn't want to see me." She chuckles but Conner can hear the hurt in her voice.

"I'm sure that's not the case. He probably has a good reason."

"Well lemme know when you find it out, because clearly I'm not going to get an answer from him." She laughs again and Conner cringes internally. This wasn't going to be fun.

"I'll do one better, I'll get him to call you or something."

"That'd be nice. Thanks."

"Don't mention it. I'll see you 'round." Conner smiles at the two of them and turns away from them.

"Hey Conner?" Artemis calls and he turns back to her, lifting his chin slightly to show he's listening. "Don't become a stranger yeah?"

He gives a weak smile and nods before he goes on his way. A stranger, like Wally. Now he really needed to find the redhead and get him talking, not just to himself but to everyone else by the sounds of it. He absentmindedly wonders if any of his family have even heard from him recently.

~  ~    ~  ~~  ~    ~  ~

He doesn't knock instantly when he arrives at Wally's apartment again for what feels like the hundredth time over the course of three days. Instead he just listens, seeing if any sound comes from within the apartment. After a moment he hears the small murmur of voices. The TV. Wally's definitely home. He knocks lightly and pauses, goes far enough to even hold his breath and listens. Nothing, the sound stops and a fragment of anger boils in his gut.

"Wally I know you're in there. Open the door or I will, and you know I mean it. You can't keep hiding." Conner huffs, crossing his arms over his chest.

He hears movement from the other side of the door and smiles to himself. However the door isn't opened, and after a minute Conner frowns again. He tries the door handle and finds it unlocked. He closes the door behind him once he's inside and looks around. The place is in a bit of a mess, more so than normal and there's far too many empty bottles on the kitchen island. His stomach flops at the sight of them. The TV's still on, but on mute and there's no Wally. But the windows open and that anger boils up again. Running away, the only thing he knows to do. He moves over to the window and looks down at the ground, six floors down. He wasn't expecting to see Wally, but he can always hope. He looks up the fire escape and takes a chance, moving up the ladder to the roof.

"You're lucky you didn't bring anyone else with you, I wouldn't have hesitated to throw you off the building."

"Good to see you too. How've I been? Pretty good I guess, just been running in circles after a speedster. Dude, you've been MIA for weeks, what the hell?" Conner crosses his arms and glares Wally's way. The redhead shrugs and leans forward from where he's leaning against the water tank stand. He kicks idly at the roof and shoots a smirk Conner's way.

"I've been busy."

"Doing what exactly? Who are you going to tell me you've been hanging out with?"

"So you've been snooping. That's rude." Wally pushes off the stand and starts pacing slowly in small half circles in front of Conner.

"I haven't been snooping. I needed to talk to you, naturally I went to the two people who are most likely to know where you are." Conner lies. He's good at doing that.

"Well I couldn't tell them the truth now could I?"

"What that you've locked yourself away in your apartment? That you've been drinking yourself away?"

"Those aren't mine, not all of them. Roy's been visiting." Wally shrugs, that stupid smile never leaving his face. It makes Conner even more mad at him.

"What's so special that you let him in?"

"Dick went to you, I went to Roy. Beside, can't really keep a guy out when he breaks in my window." Wally chuckles, his pacing continuing. Conner's arms drop to his sides, hands balled into fists.

"What's going on Wally?" He grits out and Wally finally stops in front of him and rests his hands on his thin hips.

"Why don't you tell me what you think you know and I'll fill in the truth."

"You don't trust Dick. You spilled your heart out and you don't think he repaid the gesture."

"You here to tell me I'm wrong?"

"No, I'm here to find out what you think he isn't telling you." Conner's being patient, more patient than he's ever been in his life. Wally's pushing all the wrong buttons and he knows it, but he's not going to let him get under his skin like that. He's going to get what he came here for, if he doesn't follow through on Wally's threat and throw _him_ off the building first.

"Did you know he was Nightwing?"

"No." He answers truthfully.

"Why don't you sound surprised then?"

"He brought it up a few days ago."

"Huh. What else do you know?"

"The same that you do."

"You're not a very good liar Conner."

"What is it you think I know?"

"That's the thing, I can't figure it out. I've been sat here trying to figure it out. I've been able to read Grayson like a Goddamn book since we became friends, and yet I can't figure this one thing out. It's driving me crazy. Roy's been brainstorming with me, I can't figure it out." Wally's smile finally falls and he runs his hand over his face and pulls at his hair slightly with a frustrated sigh.

"Why do you think he's hiding something from you?"

"I know when he's lying. And he said no, which means yes, he has something else to tell me." Wally crosses his arms over his chest again and starts up his pacing again.

"But you didn't push it, you just ran from it." Conner points out and Wally snorts.

"That's all I know how to do; run." He waves his hand around haphazardly.

"Maybe it's time you stopped. You need to talk to him about this."

"Why? So he isn't falling apart over being shut out? Now he knows how I feel."

"He didn't shut you out Wally."

"What was it then?" Wally hisses, moving up into Conner's space. He glares up at him, Conner's height keeping him from being intimidating.

"Fear." Conner mumbles and Wally's eyes soften and he deflates a little.

"Fear isn't something that runs in the Grayson bloodline."

"Who told you that lie?" Conner raises an eyebrow and Wally looks off to the side and steps back, hands balling into fists at his sides. "You and I know that's bullshit. And we also both know that fears the reason you're here having this talk with me and not out with your best friend."

"Best friends can trust each other."

"You saying you don't trust him?"

"I... But he doesn't trust me." Wally exaggerates with a groan and Conner smirks at how back and forth this is, now that he's heard both sides.

"Then how come he tells you everything?"

"You're the one who knows what he's hiding from me!"

"Who said I knew what it was?" Conner tilts his head slightly and Wally looks back up at him.

"You don't?"

"He tells you everything first. And I mean everything." Conner shrugs and Wally looks down at his feet and clicks his tongue in thought.

"You seriously don't know what it is?"

"Swear it." Conner gives him a sideways smile and Wally falls silent for a moment as he thinks it over.

"So why are you here then?" He finally asks.

"Because you wouldn't let Dick talk to you and he's on the verge of giving up and taking one from your books and running. So, you better get down to his place and talk this out."

"But he didn't want to tell me then, why would he now?"

"Maybe you should ask him that." Conner offers and Wally rolls his eyes with a chuckle.

"You're very good at persuasion."

"I know, it's my superpower." Conner mumbles and he sounds almost serious and Wally snickers.

"Har har." He pushes past Conner with a smile playing on his lips.

The kryptonian follows after him back down into his apartment and Wally agrees to go down to Dick's tomorrow. He asks if the raven haired male wants to stay for a few drinks seeing as his normal drinking buddy is out of town for the night. Conner doesn't see any harm in it and agrees.

~  ~    ~  ~~  ~    ~  ~  


+

~  ~    ~  ~~  ~    ~  ~


	3. Denial

Conner was a little conflicted with the situation he'd gotten himself in. The main problem being that he didn't know how he got into it or how he was going to get out of it. The thing is, he hasn't seen Wally in what feels like forever and so they have a lot to talk about, a lot of catching up to do and the time really does fly. He also doesn't notice how much alcohol they take in. He might be kryptonian, but enough alcohol does effect his system. He knows from experience. So after a few hours of non-stop talking and drinking he's starting to feel a little too tipsy for his liking and it's then he notices that Wally's drunk. How he didn't notice before he doesn't know because Wally's speech is slurred and he won't stop giggling to himself.

But the alcohol was only part of the problem. The rest of Conner's issues come from the fact that he accepts the drinks Wally keeps giving him. It's getting to the point Wally might pass out, or throw up, maybe both. But Conner doesn't stop him, and that's an issue. Wally also won't stop talking, his mouth hasn't stopped running unless there's a bottle against his lips. Conner's fogged mind finally starts to clear up enough for him to realize this has to stop. He hopes that every night Roy's over it isn't like this.

"Hey, I think you've had enough for tonight." Conner manages to get out around Wally's constant blabbing when Wally finishes off the bottle in his hand. He wishes he knew how many of the empty bottles around them were the speedsters, but he doesn't have a clue how many he's even had himself.

"I kinda thought you'd've said that earlier." Wally chuckles and something in Conner's mind makes him want to feel regret, but even he's smiling, a hint of some form of laughter on the exhale of air he lets out.

"You get like this with Roy?" Conner asks, finishing off his own drink and setting the empty bottle aside, nearly knocking over another in the process.

"Sometimes. It eases his nerves."

"What's he got'ta be nervous about?"

"What happens next." Wally shrugs with a sly smile across his lips, which are bright in colour from him constantly licking them throughout the night. Conner raises an eyebrow and plays along like he doesn't know what that means.

"What is it that happens next?" He asks and for a brief moment something in his head tells him 'no', but he pushes it to the back of his thoughts. He'll worry about it later. Wally's smile broadens, like even his drunken mind knew Conner was likely to put an end to this. He's clearly happy that hasn't been the case. He sits up on the couch more and shuffles toward Conner on his knees, the extra height forcing Conner to look up at him with clouded blue eyes.

"Well that all depends on what you want to happen." Wally almost purrs and it's not a tone Conner's heard him use before and it wakes his mind up and his drunken haze clears enough for him to realize that this isn't something he wants to happen.

"Walls..." He doesn't know what he needs to say to get Wally to see the downside to this situation. Wally must see the way his face clears up, or maybe he hears the uncertainty in his tone and he moves forward that extra bit and sits himself in Conner's lap, straddling his waist.

"Nooo, don't be like that. We can have so much fun."

"Wally, you're drunk, I'm no better, you don't want to do this."

"Yes I do."

"If you were sober-"

"I'd be saying the same thing." Wally whines, his hands coming to rest against the back of Conner's neck. "I know what I want Kon, and it's not fair that I can't get it."

"What about Artemis?" Conner tries in a desperate attempt to get Wally to see this is a bad idea. Wally smirks wider and leans forward, his breath fanning against the side of Conner's face as he holds his lips level with Conner's ear. The sensation makes the kryptonian shiver.

"Last time I checked, she couldn't fuck me up the ass. But you can, and I know you want too. C'mon, I'll make it so good for you big boy." He almost whispers, his voice surprisingly steady and words not too badly slurred. Conner swallows thickly, a gasp catching in his throat when Wally turns his head enough to lick at the shell of his ear before he sucks the lobe into his mouth. Conner's hands fall to Wally's hips and he tries to push him off but Wally bites into the lobe of his ear and his grip tightens and he uncontrollably grinds Wally down against him.

Almost everything in his mind is telling him this is a bad idea, that he shouldn't be doing this. It's wrong, Wally's drunk and he can't just use him like this. But there's the smallest of voices saying that he should go for it, that he wants this and it's louder than everything else. He growls low in his throat, mainly in frustration at himself as he holds Wally's hips tightly and shifts them quickly, pinning the redhead down into the couch and leaning over his smaller frame. Wally giggles again and something in Conner's chest feels like it restricts.

"If you wake up in the morning telling me you didn't want this, I will throw you out the window."

"I've never regretted a drunken one night stand. Ask Roy."

And that's enough to have Conner wanting him to shut up for the rest of the night as he surges forward and crashes their mouths together in a painful, messy kiss. The exception being his moans of pleasure as he fucks him into the couch, but that's besides the point.

~  ~    ~  ~~  ~    ~  ~

Conner wakes up and instantly wants to kill himself for how much his head hurts. And also his legs. His drowsy mind stumbles a little before he's suddenly fully awake. He sits up quickly, far too fast as his head spins and he nearly blacks out all over again. He closes his eyes and gets himself to count to ten as he regulates his breathing. Last nights events roll around in his head and he grits his teeth and curses himself. He let Wally get the better of him and did the last thing he wanted to do. How was he going to explain this one to Dick?

He runs his hand through his hair and opens his eyes and realizes Wally's still lying beneath him, exactly where he was last night, naked and covered in a mix of their come. Conner nearly gags at the feeling of the dried bits on his body and how gross his body feels from falling asleep without cleaning up. Wally's probably lucky he wasn't squashed to death by his weight sleeping on him. But why did his legs hurt so much? He looks them over to see fading bruises, the marks nearly gone but the pain still there. He can't remember what caused them.

He shifts back carefully and sits himself on the end of the couch and watches over Wally for a moment. He hadn't noticed last night, but Wally was thinner than usual and seemed to have bruises, fresh marks on his skin. He knows he hadn't been out doing anything that would cause him harm, and everything in his body hopes they're not self inflicted injuries. He just looks sick almost, like someone in the early stages of dying. The only thing that comes to mind as to why he'd be like this is that this separation from Dick has really taken a toll on his mental state.

Conner frowns as he notices that the reason he's even up is because there's the small clutter of noise filling the area. It's in the apartment. And that's when he notices that there had been a blanket over them that he knows neither of them put there. He hesitates for a moment and listens again. He looks over the back of the couch and into the kitchen and sees another redhead at the stove. He curses himself and sorts through the clothes on the floor and gets on his underwear and pants, screwing up his face in disgust at the mess of his body. He needs a shower. He covers Wally back up with the blanket and moves into the kitchen nervously.

Roy looks over his shoulder when he hears movement behind him and offers Conner a smile. "Hey. Nice timing, can you grab me the salt? It's in that cupboard."

Conner's mind short circuits on him and he just does what's asked of him. He just stands awkwardly beside Roy as he cooks, keeping his gaze on the floor. Roy watches him for a moment before he clears his throat.

"How you been? It's been a while since we've caught up."

"It's been like that hasn't it." Conner mumbles and Roy hums with a nod.

"Not all of us were ever really up for the hero gig Kon. I think we tried to tell ourselves we were when we knew we never would be."

"We could have been, hell we were. We just didn't work as a team."

"And not much's changed by the looks of it." Roy quips and Conner sighs with a weak nod of agreement. It's been hell trying to just talk to the most of his ex-team mates. So much happened so fast no one could keep up with it all. They fall silent for a moment as Roy continues cooking. Conner watches the couch, silently hoping Wally will wake up soon.

"So," Roy clears his throat again and looks to Conner through the corner of his eye. "what brings you here? Not that it's my business, but I do have some questions."

"I needed to talk with him."

"Talk." Roy snorts and Conner turns to glare his way.

"Yes, talk. And we did, I said what I needed too."

"Then what?"

"Well... I hadn't seen him in ages and we were catching up and we got a bit drunk." Conner tries to shrug it off like it was nothing. This wasn't nothing. Dick was going to hang him with a chain made of kryptonite.

"Classic Wally right there. Y'know it would have been his intention from the get go? He doesn't fuck anyone unless he's thought about it beforehand while he was sober."

"So when he said he wouldn't regret it..."

"He never does. But that doesn't mean his partner doesn't. I never have, I mean, it's just a release, some fucked up coping mechanism and I get that, so I'm okay with doing it. You don't seem to be having the same reaction."

"It wasn't intended."

"But do you regret it? If you do don't sugarcoat it and act like you don't. Tell him straight up otherwise when he finds out he'll feel like shit about it."

"I don't... I mean. It was good, he's good I just... It's not him."

"Artemis?" Roy asks and it wasn't the person he was thinking about, but it's a good enough excuse.

"I mean he did say that she, y'know, couldn't give him what he wanted, but that doesn't make it right."

"She won't find out if that's what you're worried about."

"That's even worse."

"Look, Conner." Roy turns to him, running his hand through his hair and letting out a small sigh. He looks over to the couch then back to Conner. "I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. Wally he... he's always liked guys man, I don't know why he lies to himself or everyone else but he does. He acts like he doesn't, just makes it seem like he's daring but in reality, he's never been interested in girls. That's why his flirting is so heavy, he wants to make it as believable as possible. Sometimes I think he does it just to try and convince himself. Artemis, he hates himself for playing her, but he's with her so he can feel normal. That's how he puts it."

"Normal?"

"Well y'know he's got superhuman speed, the highest metabolism to have ever existed and he's gay."

"Okay yeah, I get that being 'superhuman' makes the normality thing seem impossible but being gay doesn't have anything to do with it."

"Tell him that. You don't know about this okay?"

"Wait, Dick doesn't know he's gay, does he?"

"No. I found out by accident. He hadn't meant to tell me, and he didn't exactly say it aloud but I put the pieces together while he was drunk one night and asked and he freaked out over it. Thought I was going to leave or beat him up. I just comforted him and when he calmed down the first thing he said was 'don't tell Dick, I'd rather die than have him know.' Then he went on to say no one else could know either. But he made it clear he really didn't want Dick to know."

"But why? They're best friends, and Dick would never judge him, hell he'd be more supportive than ever." Conner looks over to the couch again. It didn't make sense. Here Wally was, getting all pissy with Dick because he thinks the once Boy Wonder was hiding something from him when he's doing just that himself. Conner suddenly didn't feel so bad about taking Dick's side in this debacle.

"I don't know. I've run it through my head a few times and even asked him about it but he won't tell me his reasons."

"I don't get it."

"Don't lose sleep over it, it's not worth it man." Roy pats the younger males shoulder before he turns back to the food and gets out two plates. Almost as if on cue there's a groan from the couch as Wally stirs awake. Conner swallows nervously and glances to Roy. He nods his head in Wally's direction and Conner takes in a breath and heads over to the couch. Wally's on his face now, moaning into the cushion of the couch. His hair is stuck up wildly in every direction possible and the blanket has fallen down far enough to barely cover his ass.

"Hey, how're you feeling?" Conner asks in a soft tone, not sure if Wally will be suffering from a headache or not. He wasn't sure how well his metabolism worked. Wally lifts his head and looks up to him as he leans over the back of the couch and smiles softly down at the redhead. Wally returns the smile and lets his head drop back down into the cushion.

"Yeah, okay. You?"

"I'm fine."

"Roy here?"

"Yeah."

"Knew I could smell his cooking. God I'm hungry." Wally pushes himself up and sits up, rubbing his eyes with the back of one hand while he stretches out his other arm and lets out a yawn. Conner watches the muscles in his back flex and frowns at the sight of more bruises that he knows he didn't leave there. Wally turns to look at him when he relaxes again and offers him a tired, lopsided smile.

"I bet you are, but you should probably have a shower before you consider food." Conner suggests.

"You're probably right. Wanna join me?"

"I probably shouldn't."

"It's just a shower big boy, relax. Surely it's not comfortable in those pants."

"How do you know I haven't already had a shower?"

"I would have heard it." Wally gives him a sly smile and Conner sighs. He could just say no and Wally wouldn't push it, he knows that. But he doesn't want Wally to think that things are going to get weird between them or that he regrets last night.

"Just a shower."

"That's what I said." Wally gets himself up, groaning as he stretches again once he's on his feet, standing up on his toes to stretch as many muscles as possible. Conner tries not to look over his naked body.

"Hey arrow-head, I expect a glass of warm milk when we get out." Wally calls out as he offers his hand to Conner who takes it with only slight hesitation.

"Sorry, I only do coffee." Roy snickers and Wally glares his way.

"You're an asshole." He grumbles as he drags Conner behind him off to the shower. Roy's chuckle follows behind them and some of Conner's nerves ease away. But only some; he still has to face Dick about this.

~  ~    ~  ~~  ~    ~  ~  
+  
~  ~    ~  ~~  ~    ~  ~


	4. Façade

"So you coming with or do I have to face this alone?" Wally asks Conner after they've eaten. Roy had made himself perfectly at home and Conner couldn't help but wonder about what he's going to do when Wally leaves.

"I think you need to talk to him alone." Conner doesn't look his way as he says it. He knows he needs to talk to Dick as well, knows that he can't act like last night didn't happen. No matter how much he doesn't want Dick to know, no matter how bad it could mess things up he needs to tell him. He can't act like it didn't happen and he's done with not being honest when Dick always is.

"Probably. You're welcome to stay here with Roy I guess, unless you've got places to be or whatever. I can't kick him out, he'll find his way back in." Wally chuckles, shoving his hands into his jeans pockets.

"Damn right." Roy mumbles from where he's laid out across the couch, looking like he's ready to pass out.

"Don't you have places you should be?" Wally asks and Roy makes a low grumbling sound.

"Why would I want to be anywhere when I can be here with you pretty boy?"

"Whatever. I've got a bird to tango with." Wally offers out his hand to Conner who shakes it firmly. "I'll be back later, see you then if you're still here."

"You know I will be." Roy responds and Wally rolls his eyes and looks up to Conner.

"I might stick around for a bit, but I probably won't be here when you get back."

"I'll see you whenever then."

"Only if you don't try to lock me out."

"Yeah yeah."

"Stop picking up Roy's habits okay?"

"Hey, I'm a good role model." Roy defends.

"Sure." Conner rolls his eyes and Wally smiles up at him with a small giggle.

"Alright, later dudes."

"Bye pretty boy!"

Conner floats in the middle of the room for a moment after Wally leaves. He hopes to any power above him that they sort it out, that they stop hiding from each other and fix this. He turns to the couch and moves over to Roy. The redhead looks up at him and sits himself up, patting the space he just made. Conner takes the seat and Roy flops back down onto him, nuzzling his head into his thigh.

"Has it ever occurred to you that you're too touchy-feely?" Conner asks and Roy chuckles against his leg before he rolls onto his back and looks up at the younger male.

"Am I making you uncomfortable?"

"No."

"Then stop complaining." Roy closes his eyes and threads his fingers together over his chest. "So, what do you want me to tell you? I know the only reason you stayed was because you wanted to ask me something."

"You've done this with Wally before so you've got to know why he does it."

"He doesn't just go around fucking dudes. I'm pretty sure you're the second guy he's slept with."

"So it's only you?"

"Yeah."

"Does he... like you?"

"No. But because I knew about him being gay he just straight up asked if I wanted to have sex with him. It only happened a few times but then this whole thing with Dick happened and it became a common event."

"What do you know about what happened?"

"Dick doesn't trust Wally, apparently. I doubt it highly. Everyone has secrets. I don't know why he reacted the way he did, I mean he didn't tell Dick he was gay so." Roy shrugs and cracks one eye open to look Conner over. He's staring ahead with a neutral expression. Roy closes his eye again. "What do you know?"

"Dick believes that Wally thinks differently of him now that he knows everything. I think he thinks Wally hates him because he's Nightwing."

"In Wally's defense, he has the right to be upset about that one, but he doesn't hate Dick."

"I know. But Dick was going along with Wally's excuses."

"What excuses?"

"Whenever he tried catching up he'd say he was out with Artemis and he was telling Artemis he was out with Dick whenever she tried meeting up with him. And the reality?"

"Moping around here with me." Roy hums, shifting himself so he's more comfortable against Conner's thigh. "So to conclude?"

"I think Dick likes Wally. No, I know he does. That 'one thing' he wouldn't tell him, I reckon it's that."

"That's a heavy assumption." Roy frowns and looks up at Conner.

"But it makes sense, think about it Roy. He's jealous of Artemis, has always hated how much Wally flirted with everyone, had the best days when it was just him and Wally hanging out, is scared to death of losing their friendship. He's completely dependent of Wally." Conner lists off. He finally looks down to Roy and the redhead's bottom lip turns up in thought.

"When you put it like that it seems plausible."

"You're acting like you don't want it to be true."

"Well that's because there's no way they're stupid enough to both be in that boat and not notice it." Roy snickers and Conner frowns.

"What do you mean?"

"Think about it. Wally strives to impress Dick, tells him everything, gives him his heart and soul, but freaks out over the idea of him finding out he's gay to save himself heartbreak."

"Wally likes Dick." Conner concludes and Roy nods.

"I doubt Dick likes him back though, he's straighter than Bruce."

"You sure?" Conner mumbles, that neutral expression falling over his face again as he stares off into nothingness again. Roy's mouth falls open to respond before he pauses to really think about it. After a moment his hand comes up to half cover his face as he lets out a chuckle.

"We're as blind as them."

"What do we do?"

"Let them sort it out."

~  ~    ~  ~~  ~    ~  ~

Dick's a little surprised when he hears a knock at his door. He knows it's not Conner, because it's not a solid knock, it's almost like it's a little nervous. He snuffles and wipes the back of his hand over his nose as he gets up from his spot at the table where he was having lunch and moves over to the door. Maybe he should put a shirt on, but he really hated wearing clothes most of the time so whoever it was could put up with it. He pulls open the door and bores a forced smile to seem kind, that drops instantly into a look of shock. Because like Conner had said Wally was at his goddamn door.

"Hey."

"Uh hi."

"Sorry about taking so long to get around to seeing you, I've been busy."

"Yeah."

"Can I come in?"

"Um sure." Dick steps aside and Wally moves in, hands in his jeans pockets. The looks around the room like he hasn't seen it before. Dick closes the door and moves back into the apartment and gestures usually at the table. "Take a seat if you like."

"Sorry to interrupt your lunch."

"It's fine, did you want something?"

"Uh... I'll get myself a water." Dick nods and sits back down to continue eating. Wally sits down across from him and sips at his drink. They're silent for a while before Wally lets out a small sigh and looks back up to Dick with a sad smile.

"I'm sorry Dick."

"Don't be."

"No it's not fair. I should've talked it out with you better."

"It's fine Wally honestly."

"Really? It's fine that I've kept myself away from you?"

"I'm sure you have a reason."

"Not a good one."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

"You had a reason, and a good one too." Wally mumbles and Dick snorts, shaking his head with a small smile. He looks up at Wally and he returns his smile. "I've missed you man."

"Too bad I didn't miss you 'ey?" Dick smirks and Wally leans forward against the table and offers Dick a softer smile.

"I uh, I don't know if you know this but Conner visited, not really on your behalf, but it kinda was."

"Yeah I know. I'm guessing he was able to convince you that we needed to talk things out."

"Yeah."

They fall silent for a moment and Dick pushes his plate away from himself and leans back in his chair. Wally swirls his glass around a bit and watches Dick as the raven haired male watches the table.

"Okay look, I've been really unfair. The reason I kept away was because I thought you were hiding something from me." Wally starts and Dick smiles nervously.

"I know. And you're right, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, because I did the same thing. I wasn't completely honest with you either Dick." Wally sighs and shifts himself forward on his seat, eye glued to watching his hands atop the table. "And I get it y'know, why you wouldn't want to tell me everything because telling you this, just thinking about it freaks me out so bad."

Dick doesn't know what to say and so he just watches Wally silently. Wally looks back up to him when the silence continues and he offers Dick a nervous smile. "And just because I'm telling you this now, just because I've decided to be clear with you... I don't expect you to do the same. You don't have to tell me everything Dick. It's not fair for me to expect you too. When you're ready you'll tell me and if you never are, that's fine."

"You don't owe me anything Wally. If you don't want to tell me anything, I won't hold it against you."

"I have to tell you this, it's eating at me."

Dick takes in a small breath and nods in understanding. "Okay."

Wally pauses for a moment and Dick notices how the breaths he takes in are shaky, how his hands start to tremble against the table slightly. He looks back up to Dick and swallows. "I...I uh, I like dudes, like a lot. It's probably like a tie between how much I like guys and how much I like food, that kinda extreme."

Wally chuckles nervously and looks back down to the table, muttering 'oh god' under his breath as he covers his face with his hand. Dick just watches him for a moment as the idea sets in. _Wally liked guys, like really liked them_. _He_ was a guy.

"So you're like bi or something, right?" Dick asks and Wally groans slightly before he chuckles again, his shoulders shaking.

"I'm gay Dick, like seriously gay."

"But...Artemis, you're like, you...you flirted with M'gann for ages man."

"I know. I flirted so much so no one would figure it out, especially you because you're so good at finding out everything. And Artemis...I guess I was just trying to tell myself that maybe I wasn't y'know?" Wally leans his head sideways and starts to draw squiggly patterns in the tabletop. Dick frowns and watches him.

"There's nothing wrong with being gay Wally. And so what if I found out? What'd you think I was going to do, beat you up?" Dick chuckles, but Wally isn't smiling. Dick's face falls again and Wally nods a little slowly.

"Yeah."

"Dude," Dick sits up more and leans forward, reaching out to place his hand atop of Wally's. "I'd never beat you up. Especially not because you're gay. You're my best friend and nothing is going to change that. So what you're into dudes? I don't care. It doesn't change anything about who you are or that you're literately the most important person in my life. Don't tell Bruce I told you that."

Wally chuckles, but it's a little weak and looks up to Dick. "I'm the most important person in your life?"

"That's all you got out of that?"

"Well I'm pretty sure I could do something that'd make you beat me up." Wally shrugs and Dick turns up his lip in thought.

"Probably. And well... I dunno man, you're my best friend and you've always been there."

"So has Bruce." Wally points out.

"Yeah but it's different. Look if you don't like it I'm sure Conner would be happy to have that title."

"No. I'm good with being the most important person in Dick Grayson's life." Wally chuckles and it's only then he realises Dick's still holding his hand. He smirks and shifts his hand enough so he can run his thumb over the side of Dick's hand. "Ain't holding hands a bit gay?"

"Har har." Dick rolls his eyes and thinks about moving his hand away, but he doesn't want too. Wally's body is always that little bit warmer thanks to the way it works with all that power boiling up inside it. It's a welcomed heat, and his hands are just so soft, unlike Dick's which are rough with scarred knuckles from countless fights and always working. "You gonna complain?"

"No, it's better than how you could have reacted." Wally shrugs and Dick's smile softens and he rubs his own thumb over Wally's hand.

"I can't believe you thought I'd be anything but accepting. Seriously Walls, it's like you don't even know me." Dick smirks and Wally shrugs, looking down at their entwined hands.

"I guess I was just scared you'd hate me. I didn't want to lose you."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"That's comforting to know."

"But I gotta ask about Artemis. I mean...you've gotta tell her man."

"I know. I just thought maybe I'd fool myself into thinking I could be straight. Be normal."

"If you didn't have super speed, you'd be normal Wally. Being gay doesn't decide that for you."

"I know."

They pause for a moment before Dick slowly moves his had away from Wally's. "Who else knows?"

"Roy. He kinda figured it out while I was drunk one night. And I'm pretty sure he told Conner today. I'm sorry you weren't the first person to know. I guess I could risk losing them over it but not you." Wally worries his lip between his teeth and looks down at his now free hand, tapping it against the table now that he's not holding onto Dick's.

"Seriously Wally, it's fine. I'm just glad you told me. But you've gotta tell Artemis."

"She's not going to take to it like you did Dick."

"I can be there with you if you need. Moral support and human shield if it comes to it." Wally chuckles, bowing his head and shaking it. He looks back up to Dick with a sideways smile.

"Pretty sure I could get outta the way faster than you could get in it."

"Most definitely. Though my offer still stands."

"I think Conner will be a better bet on human shield. No offence."

"All of the offence taken."

Wally smiles down at the table as he fumbles his hands together. A massive weight felt like it'd been lifted from his chest now that he'd told Dick. He just had to break it off with Artemis, tell her the truth and everything would be okay, he hoped. She'll be mad, he knows that, but after a while she'll come to understand and she won't hate him for being gay, just for playing her like that when he knew he didn't really like her.

"Did you wanna stay?" Dick suddenly asks and Wally offers him a sideways smile.

"I wasn't planning on leaving."

"I meant tonight, like do you wanna stay the night?"

Wally frowns a little at how nervous Dick sounds. He's stayed over plenty times, why was Dick making it seem like it was a new idea? "You seem hesitant."

"I just don't want you to go yet." Dick mumbles and Wally's shoulders sag a little and a soft smile works its way across his lips. "I've really missed having you around."

"I missed you too dude. I'll stay the night, but only if you let me crash in your bed because I slept on my couch last night and it fucking sucked."

"You've always slept in my bed, why would tonight be any different?"

"I dunno. You might freak out about the idea of sharing a bed with someone who's gay."

"You were gay last time we shared a bed." Dick states flatly before he rolls his eyes. Wally chuckles and crosses his arms atop the table.

"Yeah but you didn't know." He points out and Dick gives him a 'really?' look and shakes his head.

"Shut up Wally."

"Okay."

~  ~    ~  ~~  ~    ~  ~  
  +  
~  ~    ~  ~~  ~    ~  ~


	5. Coffee

Dick wasn't used to waking up with someone else. Naturally, he freaks out a little when his tired brain realises that there's arms wrapped loosely around his waist. But before he goes into full panic slash attack mode he remembers who's in his bed. He still rolls over in the slightest to look over his shoulder to check. Sure enough, red hair and freckled cheeks is what he finds himself looking down at. He smiles, a small blush creeping across his cheeks at the warm feeling of Wally pressed against his back, one hand resting low against his stomach and his breath fanning across the back of his neck. He settles back into the bed and lets himself milk out the moment.

Wally wakes up about ten minutes later, yawning a little loudly as he pulls the arm that's over Dick's hip away and stretches. Dick instantly mourns the touch and feels his chest tighten a little when Wally doesn't settle back against him. Instead he starts to wriggle his other arm out from underneath Dick's waist. Dick makes a low whining noise and grabs hold of Wally's wrist and snuggles back into Wally's body.

"Did I wake you?" Wally asks softly, his voice a little groggy and hoarse, laced with sleep. Dick loves the sound of it, it makes Wally sound tougher, bigger, manlier. It suits him far too well.

"No." Dick responds, trying to get Wally to take a hint and cuddle him again.

"Okay good, let go of me then."

"I don't wanna. You're so warm."

"I'll be even warmer if I piss your bed, c'mon dude." Wally pats his hip lightly and Dick huffs out a small sound of complaint as he releases Wally's arm.

"You suck."

"If you really want I can come back and we can continue this." Wally comments and Dick hums low in his throat. As tempting as the offer is he shakes his head as he sits up.

"No it's fine, should probably get up anyway." He stretches, a small yawn escaping as he twists his back to help crack some of the joints. He can bend far more than Wally will ever be able to appreciate. Dick notices the way Wally watches him move, easily more flexible than Wally will ever be.

"Like what you see?" Dick purrs and Wally rolls his eyes and shoves at Dick, making him chuckle as he catches himself from falling flat onto the bed.

"Just because I'm gay doesn't mean you interest me."

"Doesn't mean you don't like seeing me bend."

"Shut up. I'm gonna go pee and you're gonna get some breakfast ready."

"You want some of that fake coffee shit?" Dick asks as Wally hops out of his bed and stretches again. He nods as another yawn slips out.

"Yes please." He says around it and Dick smiles softly and nods. He watches Wally walk off to the bathroom before he averts his gaze to the bedspread, his smile faltering. Wally had trusted him with something that had made him tremble with fear yesterday, and he still couldn't return the favour.

~  ~    ~  ~~  ~    ~  ~

The phone rang a total of two and a half rings before it was answered.

"Hey babe."

"Hi Artemis. Sorry I've been out of touch."

"It's fine, I mean you weren't silent so I had no reason to worry."

"Yeah. Um... you wanna go out for coffee?"

"You don't drink coffee."

"Yeah but I know a place that makes a mean hot chocolate. It's just... we need to talk."

"We do." Artemis sighs and Wally has this strange feeling that maybe she knows what's going on. She seems a bit too calm, like the idea of going out and talking doesn't bother her. Whenever anyone's said that to him he's always had that small ball of fear settle in his gut and made it hard for him to stay relaxed.

"I'll pick you up."

"One?"

"Sure."

"See you then."

"See ya." He pulls his phone from his ear and watches the screen as Artemis hangs up. He was not by any means looking forward to this. Dick's moving around his apartment, doing whatever it is he's doing. Wally watches him from the corner of his eye, listening to the raven haired hum to himself. Wally smiles and gets himself up and moves over to Dick's side, working his hands into the front pockets of his jeans.

"I'm gonna have to get going." He mumbles a little sadly. He feels like he owes Dick and should stick around a little longer for being away for so long. Sure, it's not like he was gone for months, but still. Dick looks up at him and smiles softly.

"Yeah I know." He turns to face him properly and offers him a wider smile. "You look after yourself okay? And if you need anything you know where to find me and last time I checked you knew my number."

"Yeah yeah. Look once I've sorted this out and kicked the squatter out of my house I'll call you." Wally promises and Dick laughs.

"Say hi to Roy for me. And that I said to find a life outside of your place."

"Will do."

Wally hesitates for a moment before he opens his arms slightly, enough to suggest a hug. Dick pulls him in and lets him bury his face into the crook of his neck. They hold onto each other for a little too long than what most friends would before Wally pulls back. Dick smirks up at him.

"You always hesitate."

"You were raised by the Batman, last time I checked affection didn't come in that handbook."

"He's not so bad. And besides, you know I love hugs."

"How did you ever survive." Wally chuckles rhetorically. Dick crosses his arms over his chest and shrugs.

"He just had to get used to the fact that if I wanted a hug, I was going to get one."

"Stubborn to the end."

"You know it."

"Alright I better go. I'll keep in touch."

"You better. Otherwise next time it won't be Roy squatting in your living room."

"You squatting I could probably live with."

"Yeah I've got a great ass."

"If you say so Dick."

~  ~    ~  ~~  ~    ~  ~

Artemis isn't the slightest bit surprised that Wally shows up nearly ten minutes late. She'd almost expected it, but she liked to think one day he'd surprise her and show up on time. But one thing she'd learnt over the years was that no matter how fast, a speedster was never on time.

"Sorry I'm late." Was what Wally said as soon as she opened her door to him standing on her porch.

"Actually, you're early for you." She noted as she pretends to check a watch on her wrist. Wally chuckles a little nervously.

"I was at Dick's." Is all he says as an explanation. Only this time it's not an excuse, it's the actual truth of his whereabouts.

"No surprise there. Shall we?" She asks and Wally nods.

She doesn't reach out for his hand and lets him just lead the way to the café. They make some small talk along the way but no real conversation occurs between them for the duration of their walk. They make it to the café and Wally pays for their drinks before they're on the move again. They travel in heavy silence for a few minutes before Artemis lets out a chuckle and looks up at him.

"You've never been good with words have you?" She asks and Wally lets out a heavy sigh and stop in his tracks, moving over to the side of the footpath and leaning against the building. Artemis looks him over and moves to stand in front of him, tapping her fingers lightly against her cup. Wally looks her over in turn and gives her a small smile that's a little sad looking.

"No. I'm sorry. I just don't know how to say this because it's going to hurt you either way."

"Just say it how it is Wally. No use sugar-coating it." Artemis shrugs a little and Wally sighs and looks down at his feet. He kicks idly at the ground and makes a small sound as he pushes air past his lips.

"I'm sorry, first and foremost, for acting like there was anything really between us. I was just scared of myself I guess and I was trying to be someone I wasn't and I played you. Plain and simple and I'm so fucking sorry for that. It's seriously nothing to do with you, it's not personal, well it's a little personal to any female I guess. God I'm just really sorry about this Artemis." He pauses, frustrated with himself as he runs his hand over his face, making low groaning noises. Artemis doesn't say anything and waits patiently as he collects his thoughts. "I'm calling this off Artemis, not because of you but because well I never really had feelings for you. I'm calling this off because I'm not even into girls. I'm sorry."

"Are you apologising for not liking girls? Because that's not a reason to be sorry." Artemis asks and Wally wants to punch himself in the face.

"No I'm sorry because I hurt you, why are you so calm about this?!"

"Because I kinda suspected it Wally. But maybe I thought you were bi or something. I'm not mad at you Wally. It's not your fault."

"I _played_ you."

"Maybe. But you also played yourself." Artemis shrugs again and Wally falls silent, not really knowing what to say. "I guess I kinda figured it out ages ago."

"I'm really sorry Artemis."

"Honestly Wally, it's fine. I get it."

"You shouldn't be fine! You're meant to yell and throw the rest of your drink at me and storm off and never want to see me again because I'm an asshole!" At least, that's how it had gone down in his head. Artemis lets out a laugh, a true, full one that has Wally reeling back slightly in confusion.

"Oh Wally, you're an asshole for sure but for other reasons. You weren't sure, you were questioning and that's fine. It's not fair for me to hold it against you. Besides, if you're going to dump me at least it's for Dick. I can live with that."

"Wait what? Dick?"

"Yeah Dick? You like Dick right?" Artemis asks and Wally's face heats up a little at the idea.

"No. He's my best friend but I don't...well like maybe at some stage there was some interest but I don't like him."

"Oh. I thought...sorry I just assumed with you guys being so close."

"No."

"Okay."

They fall silent for a moment and Wally runs the thought through his head a few times. Sure, Dick wasn't bad looking and ever since puberty rocket through him and turned him into a fucking hunk, Wally can't help but appreciate the way he looks. But feelings? No. Just appreciation, nothing more.

"So." Artemis cocks an eyebrow and Wally leans back more against the wall.

"So." He repeats and Artemis smirks.

"Now what?"

"Friends?"

"Friends will work." Artemis nods and Wally offers her a wide smile. They finish off their drinks as they head back to Artemis's place, the conversation flowing easier now. Wally can't help but feel at slight peace, knowing that not only did his best friend accept him, but his ex-girlfriend was totally okay with what happened between them. Everything was okay.

~  ~    ~  ~~  ~    ~  ~  
+  
~  ~    ~  ~~  ~    ~  ~


	6. Truth

Nearly a week after Wally sorted everything out with Artemis, Dick calls him. He's in his apartment babysitting a hungover Roy, because what else would he be doing when the phone rings. He makes sure Roy's not going to do anything to hurt himself before he runs off and answers the call.

"Y'ello?"

"Hey Walls."

"Hey Dick, how's it going?"

"Yeah okay. Um, you busy?"

"I've got a drunk on my couch but that's about it for the moment. Did you wanna come over?"

"I uh...that could work. I just, I needed to tell you something but I wanted to say it to you, not over the phone or something." Wally can hear the nerves in Dick's voice but he knows not to point it out. Doing so could deter the younger male and he knew that. The best thing was to just go with it, Dick will eventually spill the beans and then Wally will be able to comfort him how he needs to be comforted without asking questions.

"Okay, yeah sure. I can come pick you up if you want?"

"No it's fine. I'll be there soon."

"Okay."

Wally listens as Dick hangs up, trying to pick up on any external sounds or something. He doesn't hear anything but that doesn't mean there wasn't anything there. He lets out a small huff of air and looks over to his couch, Roy's semi-permanent home apparently.

"Hey, how're you feeling?" Wally asks as he moves over to the older redhead and pokes at his side. Roy cracks an eye open and smiles up at him.

"I'm not 'a drunk'."

"Well you only seem to get drunk when you're around here."

"I'm not drunk."

"Then how come you passed out on my couch? How come you tripped over your own feet, twice?"

"Okay I'm a little drunk you win. Do you want me to leave?"

"I dunno, Dick sounded...I don't know if he's okay."

"I'll go so you can have alone time with your boyfriend." Roy smirks and pushes himself up from the couch with a groan. Wally glares at him with a frown.

"He's not my boyfriend."

"Is that what you told Artemis?"

"Why does everyone think we're dating?" Wally exclaims, flopping down on the couch where Roy had been and covering his face with his hands as he makes low groaning noises. Roy chuckles and leans over Wally with a shit eating grin on his face.

"Because you're 'uper tight." He holds up his pinkie in front of Wally's face and sticks the tip of his tongue out between his teeth. Wally glares and pushes him back. Roy laughs as there's a knock at the door and Wally frowns. _That was quick_. "I'll get it."

Roy skips over to the door and opens it up, smiling widely at Dick. Wally doesn't listen to their exchange as he stares ahead of himself. His mind runs and he tries to shake the thoughts off as Roy and Dick come over to him.

"Hey."

"Hey. That was quick."

"I was in the area." Dick shrugs and Wally nods in understanding. Roy smiles at the two of them before he claps his hands together lightly.

"I'll get going. Nice seeing you Dickie, next time I'll stick around if you want." He holds out his hand and Dick shakes it in return before he leans over Wally again and presses a sloppy kiss to his forehead. "Stay outta trouble kiddo."

" _Roy_." Wally hisses, wiping at the spit left on his face as Roy moves over to the window and opens it up. "You know using the door won't kill you." He calls out but Roy's already outside and making his way down the fire escape. Wally rolls his eyes and looks up to Dick who hasn't made a move or stopped looking off into nothingness.

"You okay?" Wally daringly asks. He hates asking Dick that, but sometimes he doesn't really have a choice in the matter and he doesn't really know what else to say now that it's just them. He's never found it this uncomfortable with Dick, but for some reason he feels like his vibe isn't right.

"Yeah. Uh...how drunk was he? Because I don't think I've seen him that touchy-feely."

"He has a thing for babying me. Recent obviously. I don't know why he does it."

"Oh."

"You can take a seat you know." Wally offers and Dick hesitates for a moment before he moves over and sits down beside Wally. The redhead doesn't fully turn to face him, but he does watch him. Dick continues to stare ahead, gaze hazy like he's a million miles away and about to fall asleep. "What's up? You know you can tell me anything dude. I haven't seen you like this in ages."

Dick bites his bottom lip and his eyes drop to the floor as his shoulders sag. Wally shifts, pulling one of his legs up onto the couch and tucking it underneath him as he shuffles a little so he's closer to Dick. He cautiously reaches out and when Dick doesn't react he rests his hand lightly on his thigh, close to his knee. He notices how Dick's eyes avert to his hand for a moment before they move back to the floor. His own hand comes up to cover Wally's and a small smile wins over Wally's lips at the touch.

"I haven't been fair Wally. You came over to my place, twice now and gave me your full trust, and I barely returned the favour." Dick sighs and looks up but still ahead of him. Wally licks his lips and shrugs a little.

"That was my choice. You don't have to repay the favour Dick. It wasn't fair of me to expect that of you in the first place." Wally tries to assure but Dick shakes his head and finally looks up to Wally with a weak smile.

"I know I can trust you, and it's only fair. Besides, I...I have to tell you, I might go crazy if I don't." Dick runs his free hand through his hair nervously and his gaze drops to the floor again as he shifts and turns his body to face Wally's. He keeps his hand atop Wally's which he still holds against his leg even as he moves it up onto the couch much like Wally had.

"Okay." Wally mumbles after a small pause. He watches Dick's face, unsure of how to take the situation. Dick looks back up to him and takes in a shaky breath.

"I guess I've know this for a long time, I just...I wasn't sure and then I got scared because of all of it and I tried pushing it away. Kinda like you did I guess. And I don't know what it is because well, I'm not gay and I don't think I'm bi or anything like that, it's just, _you_." Dick mumbles a lot of it but Wally catches it and his heart hummers unevenly in his chest. He could be wrong, but he doubts highly he is about what he thinks Dick's trying to say. And he almost slaps himself when he asks 'what do you mean?' because of course he knows what Dick means. But lying to yourself and living in denial is so goddamn easy. Dick makes a small strained noise and lets go of Wally's hand to cover his face with both of his own.

"I hate you for making me say it." He mumbles into his palms before he lets his hands fall back into his lap and he looks back up at Wally with a sideways, nervous smile. "I like you Walls. A lot. It's almost stupid how much I've let this pathetic crush grow but...I don't know man. You're hot okay?"

Wally let's out a small surprised chuckle and ducks his head down as a blush creeps across his cheeks. "Uh thanks?"

"Look I didn't tell you this 'cause you came out, just because you'd been honest and I knew I had to do the same. I don't wanna make things uncomfortable though. I mean, it's still me right?"

"Dude don't be like that. This doesn't change anything man. I...I'm glad you told me. I mean, it's not like I know how to deal with it or react might be the better term, but it's not going to change anything. Like you said, it doesn't change anything about who you are."

"God did I seriously say that last week?"

"Yes." Wally chuckles and Dick bows his head down and leans forward, resting his head on Wally's shoulder.

"I'm so gay for you, I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I'm flattered honestly. I mean I bet not many people can say Dick fucking Grayson, adopted son of Bruce Wayne called them hot." Wally laughs as he pulls Dick in against him, patting his back lightly.

"I hate you." Dick whines and Wally smiles wider.

"Being hated is my superpower."

~  ~    ~  ~~  ~    ~  ~

Dick stays over for a few hours before he gets a call and says he has to take it. He doesn't say that it was Bruce, but Wally knows it's Bruce due to the voice he uses and the way he speaks. Though he doesn't listen in to what Dick says, because he knows it's not really his business. Dick lets out a small groan when he hangs up and comes back into the room, giving Wally a sad smile.

"I've gotta go."

"Which batbaby got into trouble this time?" Wally asks as he rests his elbow on the back of his couch and looks up at Dick with a knowing smirk. Dick chuckles and flips his phone around between his fingers.

"Who said anyone got in trouble?"

"You were using 'Bruce's voice'." Wally makes little quotation marks in the air with his fingers.

"I wasn't talking to Bruce."

"Not Jason though, so Tim?"

"You need to be less observant."

"So it is Tim."

"Yeah, she's just having a moment."

Wally nods smiling a little. Finding out Tim was gender fluid was a little strange at first. Wally hadn't known how to take it and had made a desperate attempt to fully understand what that entitled so that he never did anything to make Tim uncomfortable. The worst part was the pronouns, he always tripped up because he didn't want to stuff up. Tim would usually laugh it off and tell him it was okay if he got it wrong because he knew he was trying. Wally always felt bad and so they worked out a system.

If they were going to be meeting up and Tim was identifying as a female or other that day he'd just text Wally a colour. Blue was they/them; purple was she/her. And if it wasn't planned and they met up and Tim wasn't wearing anything that made it obvious Wally would simply ask what colour. It worked, it got rid of the awkwardness Wally felt when he got it wrong and it made Tim happy. Dick always just seemed to know when Tim wasn't just Tim. Whenever she came out they just referred to her as Tim, her own request. She was fine with her given name.

"Jason can't handle this one?"

"I don't even know if Jason is on this planet anymore."

"Oh."

"He'll show up when he needs something."

"Or if Dami calls him in, you know he hates saying no to the brat." Wally chuckles and Dick smiles a little fondly.

Being the 'bigger brother' wasn't easy, but to hell if it wasn't rewarding whenever the four of them were together and enjoying themselves. That alone however could take a few days of him butting heads with Jason. Damian and Tim were always able to get Jason to shut up and remind Dick that his ego didn't matter around them. Seeing the youngest two of the four happy was all Dick needed to feel content and if he could get a winning smile from Jason, bonus brownie points to him. Jason's smile was the most important one to exist. And not that smirk, no his genuine smile that Tim could get from him so damn easily.

"No one can say no to him."

"Devil on your shoulder."

"How do you think Bruce feels?"

Wally chuckles and gets up from the couch. "You better go save the damsel before she gets pissy with you."

"You know better than to call her that Walls. She'll rip your head off."

"I'd like to see her catch me."

"She won't have to; she'll get you in your sleep."

"Classic manoeuvre. Anyway, get outta here before she thinks about ripping your head off." Wally steps over to Dick and pulls him in for a hug, patting his back lightly. Dick nuzzles a little into the side of his neck like he always does and Wally's mind wonders in the slightest if Dick did that to everyone or if it was just him. They pull apart and Dick offers Wally a soft smile.

"Thanks for listening today and y'know...understanding."

"What're friends for?"

"Yeah I know. I'll see you round; come save you from your drunk squatter soon."

"Thanks. Take care and tell Tim I said hi."

"Will do." He moves over to the door and lets himself out.

Wally hovers for a moment before he moves back over to the couch and sits himself down in his spot again. He stares a little vacantly at the space in front of him with a tight feeling gripping at his chest. As if being gay was hard, he couldn't even _fathom_ how Dick felt, not even really knowing what he was just knowing that he helplessly liked his best friend. Wally felt the slightest bit horrible and guilty that he didn't return the feelings.

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	7. 'Sleeping'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! I was all over the place yesterday and posting this chapter slipped my mind

Wally was a little down over the next few days. He made a point to contact Dick again like he used too, be it just texting or even calling him but he didn't visit or invite Dick over. It wasn't that he didn't want to see him, he was just feeling sort of sorry for himself. He didn't want things between him and Dick to change, but he couldn't help that he felt guilty for not returning Dick's feelings. Yes, Dick was an attractive person, yes he was just a nice guy in general, but Wally didn't feel that way about him. He couldn't even properly comprehend Dick liking him. And that fact that Dick had made a point to say that it was only Wally he was interested in and no other guy, it made Wally feel sick to his stomach. He wasn't worth it, didn't deserve Dick's feelings.

Wally's actually a little surprised and disappointed in the absence of Roy since Dick came over. It was weird not finding him in his kitchen when he woke up or crashed on his couch after he'd been out. Roy was a slight constant in his life now, almost more so than Dick at this stage and it just felt weird not having him around. Sure he was glad that he wasn't being mothered by the guy but that didn't mean he didn't want him around either. And besides, he really needed a distraction.

He calls up Roy on the fourth day, his gut feeling like it's twisting in knots and like it wants to reject him. He just felt kind of crap and he needed someone to be with, but knew Dick wouldn't be the best call. Especially since he was a little drunk and he needed what he knew Roy could provide. He could call Conner, but he knew the kryptonian wasn't exactly keen on hook ups.

"Roy?" Wally mumbles as soon as the archer answers the phone.

"Hey Walls, everything okay?"

"Can you come over?" Wally ignores his question, getting straight to the point. He knows Roy will pick up on it, knows he'll know the question he isn't exactly asking.

"I can. But you didn't answer my question." Roy responds and Wally let's out a small sigh, running his hand through his messy hair.

"I don't know." Wally answers honestly. He was just feeling like crap really, but he didn't know why. He wanted to think it had something to do with the current situation with Dick, but he'd felt fine after finding out and despite his guilt it wasn't like it was a horrible thing. Maybe he was just too use to Roy's company.

"Okay. I'll be there as soon as possible." Roy promises and Wally mumbles a low 'okay' before they're hanging up and Wally's left in the silence of his apartment until Roy got there.

~  ~    ~  ~~  ~    ~  ~

Dick was a little irked that Conner had showed up early. Something about it just didn't sit right with him. Maybe it was because he was used to people showing up on time or late. Arriving early just pissed him off. Though he was glad Conner had even shown because for a moment, he'd thought he wasn't going too.

"Hey, how've you been?" He asks as he lets Conner in, hands fumbling together a little nervously.

"Alright, what about yourself?"

"I've been okay, just thinking a lot."

"How'd the talk with Wally go?" Conner asks as he moves around the apartment, not knowing whether to sit himself at the table or on the couch. Dick makes that decision for him when he seats himself on the couch.

"It was fine. We sorted everything out."

"I knew you would."

Dick looks down to the couch as a smile crosses his lips. Of course Conner did, he knew what to do to get people out of sticky situations. Just never himself it seemed and that was a problem Dick couldn't help with. His smile doesn't last long as he remembers why he even called Conner over. He wasn't proud of himself for this, but he really didn't know what to do about his current situation, and Conner was the person he trusted to go to when he couldn't go to Wally. Sure he could go to Tim, but he bared too much on the boy, he didn't want to burden him with this too. Jason would have been a better bet but he still had no idea where he was.

"Conner, I asked you here for a reason, but you probably knew that already."

"I figured you needed something." Conner agrees and Dick sighs and continues to stare down at the couch. It's just that it's been a while, like seriously way too long and he was feeling low about himself. Not that that had anything to do with him calling Conner in, it just turned out that way.

"I want you to fuck me. I need someone too and you...I trust you." Dick sighs and runs his hand through his hair. He knew Conner was open minded, knew that he wouldn't judge but he also strongly expected Conner to turn him down, to help clear his mind some. Conner pauses for a moment before his eyes fall closed and he turns away from the younger male.

"You too huh?" Conner chuckles a little bitterly and runs his hands through his hair with a small sigh.

"What?" Dick mumbles a little surprised.

"I should have told you sooner, but I didn't know how to bring it up. When I went and spoke to Wally he wasn't really, I don't know how to explain it. And it's not my place to say this but I'm telling you this out of trust that you won't hold this against Wally."

 _Trust_. Why was everyone so trusting of him lately? He wasn't trustworthy, hell, Wally's even said before that he was 'shady' without actually saying it. But Dick knew what he meant. It wasn't his fault really, he was raised to keep to himself for his own protection and those around him. He barely trusted himself.

"Okay." Dick finally responds, but it's a little weak and quiet. He suddenly doesn't feel so good about anything.

"Wally he, he uses it as a release, some form of coping with whatever's going on and Roy... Roy's always there y'know? They've slept together, and by the sounds of it quite a few times and when I was there we got drunk and well...I wanted to say no, and I did at first but...He was hurting Dick, I could see it and I just wanted to see him smile, wanted him to feel better and so I went with it and we, I fucked him. I'm sorry."

Conner curses himself in his mind when he looks back up to Dick and he's looking down at the floor vacantly. Dick runs it over in his head a few times. He understood why Wally would do it, and why it was Roy, why he would have wanted Conner, c'mon, _he_ wanted Conner. But that didn't mean it didn't hurt to hear.

"Why are you apologising?" Dick asks after a moment and Conner's body sags in defeat, like he can't even believe himself.

"Because I know what he means to you, and...he's your best friend and I shouldn't have done it."

"Exactly, he's my friend, why does it matter. There's nowhere in anything that says you can't fuck your own friends just because they're friends with someone else?" Dick doesn't know why but he has to question that.

"Dick don't play dumb. I know how you feel about him."

"Of course you do."

"You're not as subtle as you think."

"Thanks, you sound like Bruce." Dick sighs and bites his bottom lip and Conner shuffles a little closer.

"I'm really sorry Dick."

"Honestly, it's fine. I just thought Wally would have said something."

"He was scared as shit to tell you he was gay; how do you think the idea of admitting he fuck's around with Roy makes him feel?"

"I know. I'm sorry I called you over just for that. I just..." He trails off. He wasn't sure what he was thinking when he did. Maybe he'd hoped to just forget about Wally, if only for an hour or so.

"Don't be. I didn't mean to be so crude about it, I just really needed to tell you about what happened between me and Wally."

They fall silent for a long pause and Conner can tell the gears in Dick's head are turning rapidly and far too much. He needs to stop thinking, just for a moment. And Conner needs to ease his own nerves. He sucks in a shaky breath and he turns to face Dick better. Dick looks up to him and they lock eyes. Conner can feel the shift and judging by the way Dick inhales audibly, he does too. Conner reaches out and after only a second of hesitation cups Dick's cheek. He nuzzles into the touch, his tense muscles relaxing and his body melting into it.

"Are you sure?" Conner asks in a low whisper and Dick's eyes fall closed and he shakes his head slightly.

"No." But he's leaning in and Conner doesn't feel conflicted.

"You're calling the shots okay?"

"Good. Shut up and kiss me."

And Conner does because if he's learnt anything from watching Dick over his shoulder it's that Dick doesn't like asking for things. He hates _needing_ things and it's only when he's at breaking point that he lets himself have what he wants. Conner will always provide because he's there to help. And so kiss they do, they make out for hours, but beside wandering hands and desperate lips, it doesn't go any further. And Conner knows that it was all Dick wanted and needed from the beginning, just so he could calm his mind and ease his nerves.

~  ~    ~  ~~  ~    ~  ~

Wally's all over Roy the moment he climbs into his window, because really, none of them knew how to use doors anymore. Roy doesn't get to say anything and just reacts instantly when Wally crashes against him, forcing their lips together in a bruising kiss. And Roy's whipped around and thrown into Wally's bed before he knows it, no aid from the speed force required. And Roy's always been okay with helping Wally out, with being a release and letting him fuck his brains out or fucking Wally's brains out just to get that buzz, but somethings off.

"Wait, wait." Roy manages to get out past Wally's attacking mouth, panting already from Wally almost literately sucking the air out of his lungs. Wally sits back slightly and looks him over as he straddles his hips and when did Roy lose his shirt? How long have Wally's jeans been open?

"What?"

"Something's not right with you."

"Roy please, we can talk later I just really need you inside me." Wally whines and Roy frowns deeper.

"No. I'm not doing this unless you talk to me Wally."

"I...I can't. I need something."

"Why?"

"I don't know, please Roy." Wally shuffles back and starts to work Roy's pants open but the archer fights him.

"You do, stop it." He hisses but Wally's too fast and has them both naked before he can do anything about it. He curses under his breath and tries to get hold of Wally to stop him.

"Just fuck me." Wally almost cries out and Roy knows something's really wrong now. He grabs Wally's wrists and rolls them over, managing to pin the redhead down. He leans over him and holds him down forcefully, forcing Wally to look up at him. Roy's stomach drops at the sight of tears in his green eyes.

"Wally-"

"Roy please. I can't." He closes his eyes and tries to curl in on himself. He snuffles and his body shudders as he supresses a sob. Roy let's go of him but doesn't move away as Wally covers up his face and swears at himself, telling himself to get it together.

"What's wrong? C'mon dude talk to me please." Roy tries in a soft tone and Wally shakes his head. Roy wracks his brain. "This has something to do with Dick, doesn't it?"

"It's not fair." Wally sobs and Roy takes that as a yes. He shifts himself so he's not crowding over Wally and sits himself close to him instead, so that he's not overwhelming the speedster but isn't running away either.

"What happened?"

"I can't talk about it Roy. Not now." Wally sighs weakly and manages to look up at Roy. And Roy hates the fact that he's almost completely composed himself, that the only thing giving away his mini breakdown is the glistening tears down his cheeks that Wally missed when he wiped at his face. "I just need you, please?"

And maybe if he hadn't made it seem like a question, Roy would have been able to say no. But he couldn't leave Wally like this and if a fuck was what he needed, then so be it. After all, it's what Roy was there for, among other things. But a release he could always be.

"What do you need?" Roy asks in a low voice as he reaches over to the bedside draws. He really doesn't want to do this now; he wants to talk to Wally but he knows how stubborn he is. He's not getting any form of conversation from him, not now anyway.

"To not be thinking about it." Wally sighs and Roy nods as he places the lube and a condom beside Wally's head. He leans back in to kiss Wally, softer this time as he moves his body and boxes Wally in underneath him. Wally's hands reach up to grip at his sides, running over his ribs and down to his waist. His grip is light and his fingers dance softly against his skin, up and down as Roy licks at his bottom lip.

"Okay, what do you want?" Roy pulls back to ask, his lips brushing Wally's as he speaks. Wally's hands move around his shoulder blades and down to his ass, pulling his hips down against his own.

"You to fuck me."

"Obviously." Roy rolls his eyes and Wally leans back in, kissing him a little rougher than how Roy had kissed him.

"Roy." Wally pants as he grinds his hips up into Roy's, fingers digging hard into the flesh of his ass.

Roy nibbles his bottom lip and reaches out for the lube. He sits back and shifts himself so he's sat between Wally's thighs and coats up his fingers. He watches as Wally closes his eyes and let's his head fall back into the pillow. And Roy can see all the unease in him, can see how tense he is. Whatever happened was really messing with Wally's head if it has him this riled up. Roy works his first finger into Wally, noticing that despite how tense Wally is, he's loose around his finger.

"Been busy have we?" Roy asks in a fake teasing tone. He just didn't feel right doing this while Wally's like this.

"You took a while showing up." Wally whimpers, working his hips back against Roy's hand, the older redhead easily working in his second finger in with the first almost straight away.

"I'm sorry." And Roy really means it because clearly Wally had needed him immediately, has possibly needed him over the past few days and yet he's kept himself away. Yes, they need space from each other, but he essentially did to Wally what he's done to Dick. Now that he thought about it, it was an asshole move.

"Just don't let it happen again."

"Promise." Roy nods, curling his finger up inside Wally. He arches off the bed, letting out a low hiss as he shifts himself against Roy to get his fingers where he wants them.

Roy takes a moment to scissor him open with his fingers before he leans over Wally's smaller body and kisses him again as he works in a third finger. Wally's hands are instantly in his hair, pulling him down roughly against his lips as he rolls his hips up into Roy. They moan together, Roy hissing when Wally yanks on his hair a little, his free hand pressing down hard against Wally's chest. Wally reaches up to his side and manages to blindly find the condom. His hand in Roy's hair pulls and separates their lips, long enough to rip the packet open with his teeth. He spits the strip to the side, licking his lips before he pulls Roy back in against his mouth. Roy helps him work the condom on and once it is, Wally grabs the lube and lathers him with it, stroking roughly. Roy moans and pulls back from Wally's mouth panting, looking down into his wide eyes. Wally always looked so young like this, it always brought back memories of him clad in yellow, trying to save the world just like his uncle had always done.

Wally pushes up suddenly, sitting up and pulling Roy in for another biting kiss before he shoves the archer off him. He shifts himself, turning around and getting on his knees, letting his chest fall heavily against the bed, ass in the air and legs spread. He turns his head to the side against his pillow and watches as Roy moves in against him and crowds over his body, lining himself up. Wally sucks in a small breath and holds it, exhaling shakily as Roy slides in. Roy grunts at the feeling, Wally's heat, so much more intense than anyone he's ever been with and always almost too tight. It's like he never preps him with how tight Wally always feels. Wally lets out a satisfied sigh as Roy bottoms out, closing his eyes and letting himself relax against the bed. Roy leans over him and sucks on the skin over his shoulder blade as he rolls his hips against Wally's.

"You gonna fuck me or what Harper?" Wally growls after a moment of Roy just mouthing at his back and rolling his hips. Roy mumbles against his skin, words he doesn't catch before he straightens up. He grips at Wally's hips roughly and pulls his hips back only to snap them forward again hard. Wally cries out, fists clenching in the sheets as his body jolts against Roy's. "Fuck yeah, just like that."

Roy huffs out a sound and builds up a rough pace, focused more on the force rather than the speed of his movements. Wally continues to blabber into the pillow he's clutching, knuckles turning white as his body alights with small vibrations. They're enough to make Roy's fingers feel numb as they press into his flesh. He grits his teeth to hold back his groans as Wally pushes himself up onto his hands. He looks up over his shoulder at Roy as he fucks back against Roy roughly, cursing loudly whenever Roy's cock brushes his prostate. He's already close, and maybe given another situation that would embarrass him. But right now he doesn't care. Roy reaches up and grabs hold of Wally's hair, yanking his head up, making Wally cry out again.

"Oh fuck, _Roy_." Wally's body shakes, elbows feeling weak as he forces himself to stay up. Roy yanks again and wraps his other arm around Wally's mid rift. He pulls Wally up against him, turning his head to kiss him roughly. The angle makes it harder for him to fuck Wally, but he makes up for it by running his hand down the younger males stomach and gripping his cock. Wally whimpers against his mouth and after a moment pulls away, head dropping forward enough his chin rests against his chest.

"Oh God, fuck, fuck, _fuck_. Harder, I'm gonna come, _fuck_." Wally whimpers and moans. Roy can't physically fuck him any harder, especially when he had him pressed against him like this, so he makes up for the lack of power in his thrust by keeping his hand around the base of Wally's cock and squeezing as he works his thumb down under Wally's balls. Wally's hips jolt and stutter, his cry caught in Roy's mouth as he comes over the archer's hand and his bed. Roy grunts against Wally's lips as his movements stop and he comes, filling the condom.

He let's go of Wally and slowly pulls out. Wally let's himself fall heavily against the bed with a groan as Roy tries off the condom and gets himself up from the bed. He heads to the bathroom on shaky legs, dropping the condom in the bin as he goes and collects up a wash cloth, damping it before he comes back into the bedroom. Wally's rolled onto his side, clutching his pillow again. Roy runs the cloth over Wally's body before dropping it off the side of the bed and curling up behind Wally. He doesn't fight Roy as he's spooned and when Roy's hand comes to rest on his stomach he covers it with his own, threading his fingers with Roy's.

And then he remembers why Roy was even there and his gut twists as his thoughts wander back to Dick and he feels worse than he did before.

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	8. Apologies

Dick conveniently had his phone in his hand when it rang. He had planned to call Wally, but didn't have the guts, didn't know what he would even say when he did. But Wally had gone and called him instead and so that sorted out that problem. He probably answered too quickly, the phone barely ringing once before he hit the answer button, but it was already in his hand. He could have waited it out, but sometimes his brain didn't work properly.

"Hi."

"Hey dude. I uh...you been okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine, why do you ask?"

"You never came around like you said you would."

"I know, I'm sorry. I don't even have an excuse." Dick sighs and runs his hand through his hair, eyes falling closed as he just listens to Wally's breathing. There's a pause before there's movement on Wally's end.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"I don't know."

"Want me to come over?" Wally asks and Dick instantly wants to say yes, because of course he wants Wally with him. But he can't, he won't be able to look at Wally if he shows up.

"I..." _don't know_.

"I can call Bruce for you."

"He's got something with Damian." Dick lies and his voice wavers slightly. He curses himself because of course it does. That's the easiest indicator to show he's lying and Wally instantly picks up on it.

"Either I call Bruce or I come over, those are your two options Dick. Unless you wanna tell me right now what's wrong."

"I miss you." Dick barely whispers, holding his head in his hand as he forces himself not to cry. Ever since Conner came over and told him what happened all he's seemed to do is cry at least once a day. It's not because Wally doesn't like him, it's got nothing to do with _feeling_ feelings. He just hates that Wally trusts Conner and _Roy_ more than him. He never went to him even for just a release, and that hurts to know.

"What?" Wally asks in a low voice because he didn't hear Dick at all. Dick bites his bottom lip and forces himself not to sob audibly.

"I miss you, so fucking much Wally." Dick mumbles lowly, biting back his pathetic sobs. He hadn't felt this weak since Jason died. Wally didn't know what to say, what Dick needed him to say to make him feel better.

"Miss me? We saw each other last week?" Wally asks unsure and Dick makes a low sound.

"I know. But I miss you, I miss how we used to be, what we used to do. I miss Kid Flash." And Dick hates himself for saying it.

Wally isn't Kid Flash anymore and he never will be again. He's _Wally_ , just Wally and he's made it very clear he doesn't want anything to do with the hero gig anymore. But that was the problem. Now that he was just Wally, he was different and Dick was selfish. Wally doesn't know what to say. Dick knows why he won't go back out there, said he understood, had considered hanging up his suit for good as well, but then there was that night where he'd argued with Bruce about helping out and Damian had been hurt, really bad. He refuses to give it up now because he can't protect anyone if he does.

"I miss seeing you every day, having someone complain about you chewing in their ear, your stupid plans that always worked." Now that Dick's started, he can't stop. "I miss _feeling_ you run past me, when you'd have to carry me along and would make the biggest fuss over making sure I kept my head down so the force of your speed didn't rip it off my shoulders. I just miss it so much." Dick was sobbing, crying again like he hadn't done enough of that recently.

He was so caught up in blabbing away that he hadn't heard Wally moving around, hadn't heard the wind rushing past him or him enter his window. Wally watched him for a moment from across the room as the younger male cried into his palm. It wasn't until Dick tugged at his own hair roughly that Wally moved across to him, ending the call on his phone. Dick heard the line go dead and looked up suddenly, going to look at his phone because no way had Wally hung up on him. Only for his eyes to focus in on Wally moving over to him. He grits his teeth and drops his phone onto the table and covers his face with his hands. He didn't want Wally seeing him like this. Wally doesn't pull a chair up beside Dick, instead he grabs hold of Dick around the shoulders and tugs him in against his body. Dick buries his face into Wally's torso, refusing to wrap his arms around Wally in return.

"I'm sorry." He manages to croak out, trying to pull back. Wally doesn't even loosen his grip on him, forcing him to stay pressed against his body.

"Don't ever be sorry for how you feel. And before you say anything, you're not selfish. It's not a crime to miss normality, to miss having some kind of routine to life. You're allowed to miss the past, to want things to go back to being simple, to being normal." Wally doesn't speak loudly, keeping his voice low and soft, comforting. It makes Dick feel worse.

"But it's not all of it, just..."

"I know. I get it and I'm sorry. I wish I could say that I'll go back to it, but I couldn't, I don't deserve to wear that symbol."

"Don't talk shit." Dick pushes himself up from Wally, the anger in his tone making Wally let him go. He stares up at wide green eyes. "You earned it, you worked your ass off for it and you _made it_. You were a hero, you still are, don't ever tell yourself otherwise. And don't apologise for me being pathetic."

"You're not being pathetic Dick." Wally sighs and drops down to his knees so he's not towering over the other. "And I'm not anymore. You are. You'll always be a hero, you were meant to be, born to be. I wasn't. I was desperate for it; you never have been."

"That doesn't mean you didn't earn it."

"But I didn't deserve it. If I'm honest with myself and I got the chance to do it all over again, I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't douse myself in chemicals and electrocute myself. I don't deserve the power I have."

"Yes, you do." Dick doesn't think about it as he reaches out and cups Wally's cheek. Wally watches him but doesn't pull away.

"Give me a reason."

"Think about everything you've done with it. November 11th, three thousand miles in four hours. Without you, without your powers, she would have died."

"They would have had Barry do it if I hadn't been there and you know it."

"You're missing the point Wally."

"I get it, I saved people with it, but I don't deserve it. I can't go back to being that, I'm not meant for it." Wally sighs and Dick deflates a little. He didn't want Wally feeling like shit like he was because of this. He drops his hand and his eyes fall to look down at the floor. Wally shuffles forward and leans forward, resting his head in Dick's lap. "But I have it, and I can't change that."

"Nor should you want too." Dick mumbles and Wally smiles a little. He turns his head and looks back up to Dick. He hates how down Dick's been lately. An idea clicks in his mind and he pushes himself up from the floor and stands up, offering his hand down to the raven haired male.

"You know what I can do though?" He asks with a growing smirk. Dick wipes at his nose and lets Wally pull him up to his feet.

"No?"

"I can change everything else. I can see you every day, I can annoy you by chewing in your ear. I don't have to be Kid Flash to be there for you. And I can definitely do this." Wally turns his back to Dick and grabs hold of him, hoisting him up onto his back. Dick instinctively wraps his arms around Wally's chest, and Wally winds his arms under Dick's knees. "Head down boy wonder."

"Wait-" Dick doesn't get to protest, pressing his head in between Wally's shoulder blades as the speedster takes off, back out the window, down the fire escape and out onto the streets in seconds. A smile fights its way onto Dick's face at the feeling of wind whipping past them, the familiarity of 'running' with Wally. Only last time he was smaller than Wally. He tightens his hold on Wally and peaks over the redheads shoulder like he always did. And Wally always knew he did it of course, but they both pretended he didn't.

~  ~    ~  ~~  ~    ~  ~

Dick has no concept of time when Wally comes to a stop, up on an outlook, looking over a city. Dick can't even be sure it's Blüdhaven, but it doesn't matter. He's full of adrenaline, his stomach doing flips and _he_ feels out of breath. Wally sets him back on his feet, not even showing the slightest bit of exhaustion. Dick steps up beside him and looks out over the city.

"How was that?"

"Short lived, as always." Dick smiles and looks over to Wally. He smiles back before he looks out over the city again, shoving his hands in his jean pockets.

"You were going to say something before we left."

"I was just...you didn't have to do this Wally. Just because I'm living in the past doesn't mean you have to go out and do elaborate things."

"Of course I did. Dude, you've been down for weeks, and I hate seeing you like that. If all I have to do it run for an hour or so to make you feel better, fine. I'll do it. Besides, it's been a while since I actually got out and went for a run. Felt good."

"Your hair says otherwise." Dick chuckles and Wally sweeps his fingers through the mess of red strands.

"I need a haircut."

"I can second that one." Dick shakes his head, fringe falling over his eyes to empathise his point. Wally hums and reaches over to brush the strands aside.

"Yeah the long hair thing works better on Tim."

"I've been considering a mullet." Dick smirks and Wally shudders at the idea.

"I will personally remove it for you."

They fall silent for a moment, looking out over the city. Dick still doesn't know where they are or why, but he doesn't care. He's with Wally, he feels content. It's almost like being back then, and that makes him feel complete. Being able to talk to Wally so easily hasn't been possible lately and so even the comfortable silence was welcomed.

"I know lately it's all been confessions between us, but I just...there's one more thing I have to tell you." Wally mumbles, turning so that he's facing Dick. He sighs and looks past his head, not able to actually look at him. "I uh...Roy-"

"I know. You've been sleeping with him. Coping mechanism."

"How do you know?"

"Conner told me about what happened between you two, then about Roy. He didn't do it to rat you out, it's just I...I'd tried getting him to have sex with me."

"Oh."

"It didn't happen. We just made out for a while." Dick shrugs and Wally nods. "You got a thing for Roy?"

"God no. I mean, no offense to him, I mean I guess he's hot, he's good at fucking too, but no, not my type."

"Oh what, problematic redhead too close to home for you?"

"Hey, I am not that bad."

"Didn't say you were." Dick chuckles and Wally shakes his head with a smirk.

"What about Kon?"

"I dunno man. I think problematic redheads work for me."

"I'll tell Roy to visit sometime."

"You do that and I'll beat you with his corpse." Dick crosses his arms over his chest and Wally makes a low whistling sound.

"Violent."

"I lived with Batman for a considerable amount of my life, what do you expect?"

Wally pauses for a moment before he looks back over to Dick. He looks him over, mind racing almost as fast as his feet can carry him. Dick notices him staring and looks over to him in turn, silently asking what's on his mind. Wally looks back ahead and lets out a sigh before he drops down onto his ass, sitting in the grass. Dick hovers for a moment before joining him, still facing him.

"Do I wanna know what's on that mind of yours?"

"What do you see in me? I know it sounds stupid but I just...I dunno, I'm curious." Wally shrugs and looks away from Dick. The younger sucks his bottom lip into his mouth for a moment, pushing it back out with a wet pop as he looks Wally over.

"I dunno. You get me, y'know? You're funny and just attractive."

"But what do you find attractive about me? Surely my crappy jokes are not it for you."

"Your freckles are pretty cute." Dick admits a little sheepishly, cheeks heating up. Wally looks back over to him and smirks.

"You've said you liked my shoulders a few times when I've been shirtless. Is that because of the freckles too?" Wally asks almost knowingly, feeling triumph when Dick nods. "What else?"

"Why are you asking?"

"I wanna know." Wally states simply. Dick would argue the point, but he can't really.

"Your voice is pretty nice, I like your hair and eyes, and your skin."

"My skin?"

"Yeah, you're not like pale, but you are? And you're always just so warm. Personal heater."

Wally watches him for a moment before he looks down to the space between them. "I'm really sorry Dick."

"What for?"

"I wish I could like you back, I wish you weren't alone on this. It's not fair."

"Woah, dude. Shut the fuck up. This isn't your fault. You can't help who you do and don't like, don't give me that shit." Dick punches Wally's arm, only a little hard, enough to make Wally complain and rub at the spot with a pout.

"I know, I know. Doesn't mean I feel any better about it."

"I think we, collectively, need to stop being sorry about everything."

"What makes you think that?" Wally rolls his eyes and looks back to Dick with a sideways smile. Dick returns it before he looks back over the city.

"You're taking me home right?"

"I was thinking you could come back to mine. Then tomorrow we could just do something, unless you've got bird business?"

"I'm sure the city can survive one night without me."

"Don't jinx it." Wally chuckles before getting himself up and offering his hand down to Dick again. Dick smiles softly and lets Wally pull him up and hoist him onto his back again. And if Dick nuzzles a little more into Wally than he normally would, neither of them bring it up. Because for the first time in months, they both feel complete.

~  ~    ~  ~~  ~    ~  ~  
+  
~  ~    ~  ~~  ~    ~  ~


	9. Personal

Roy's up early, though he can't remember the last time he didn't wake up just as the sun was rising. He had trouble sleeping when it wasn't dark, which is why he liked being at Wally's. The light had trouble getting through into Wally's lounge room so he could sleep in as much as he wanted until Wally got up and turned the lights on or opened up the blinds. He could go out and get thicker or darker blinds himself; but lazy was most definitely his middle name. He sits himself up on the side of his bed and frowns at the little sliver of light in his room. He turns to look at the clock. He's actually up nearly forty minutes earlier than he normally would be, which leads him to know the reason he's up isn't because of the sun.

He slowly stands up and looks out the crack in his bedroom door. The light in his kitchen is on, and he knows he didn't forget to turn it off last night. He moves across his room on his toes, fast but silently in only his underwear and scoops up his bow. He grabs two arrows, wedging one between his teeth and holding the other against his bow, gripping the string aside it. He stalks over to his door and opens it up with his foot, slowly. He moves out into the lounge and listens as he presses himself against the wall. Movement, but no conversation. He turns around the door frame and pulls the string of his bow taunt, aiming up at-

"Good morning to you too."

"'ason?" Roy mumbles around the arrow in his mouth and rolls his eyes, arms falling limp and he lets the string loosen before he releases his grip. He drops his bow on the table and drops both arrows down beside it. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Your window was unlocked."

"I asked why you were here, not how you got in." He crosses his arms over his chest and takes in what the second Robin was doing. Making coffee, of course.

"I need a place to crash for a few days."

"Why?"

"Look if you want me to leave I will. I have some shit I need to do here and I don't need anyone to know I'm around."

"Except me apparently."

"I can trust you to keep your trap shut right?"

"Yeah, yeah whatever. Why you can't use one of your damned safe houses?"

"I don't plan on staying for long, no point setting up in one of my places for three days max." Jason shrugs and points to the coffee pot in offering. Roy waves him off and collects up his bow and arrows again.

"Can I at least know what this business is?" He asks as he starts to move back to his room to put it away. When he comes back out Jason offers him a smirk and answers him simply, not enough of an answer but all Roy knows he's going to get.

"Personal errand."

~  ~    ~  ~~  ~    ~  ~

Dick was usually good with his sense of detection. However, he wasn't superhuman, sometimes he slipped up, probably a little more than he'd like to admit. Sometimes he missed things, sometimes Bruce missed things for God's sake. It always made him feel smug when he picked up on something that Bruce didn't. He knew better than to rub it in though. And the thing was, there were four people that he knew could always sneak up on him. He was perched on a rooftop, his mind drifting a little as he listened in to the radio feedback from his earpiece that was linked up to the police communicators as well as the Justice League's own. Nothing but white noise really. He could use some action tonight.

He feels the presence behind him a little too late, and if the person had any intentions on killing him, he'd probably be fucked. As it is the person manages to grab his shoulder and pull him back from his perch on the edge of the roof. He reacts on instinct, moving quickly to twist in the hold, grabbing the arm on his shoulder and throwing the body over his shoulder and letting them crash to the roof with a painful cry. Except, they don't. They twist themselves as they're thrown and mange to land on their knees, hand coming down to stabilize themselves so their face doesn't crash down into the roof. And Dick recognises that manoeuvre instantly, because it was one he was taught, one not many people master so flawlessly.

"Jason." He huffs and stands up straighter, crossing his arms over his chest.

"You trying to break my spine Grayson?"

"Hey." Dick hisses and Jason stands himself up, dusting himself off like he needed too.

"You said my name first."

"Last name isn't as inconspicuous as the first."

"Relax, it's just us up here. And I thought you were a detective. You're getting sloppy."

"You're one of few who can actually sneak up on me." Jason's wearing his helmet, but Dick knows he smirks at the remark. "What are you doing here anyway? As far as I was concerned you could have died again and none of us would have known." Dick turns away from Jason and looks out over the city again. He hates saying stuff like that, but Jason made it hard not to get angry at him and he was trying to get his point across.

"Damian would have." Jason moves over past him and sits himself on the ledge Dick had been perched on, looking up at the older male. He works his helmet off his head, swiping his hair back, white fringe still falling into his face like it always did. He wasn't wearing his domino mask underneath the helmet like he normally did.

"Damian never mentioned being in contact with you."

"Because I asked him not too. I don't want Bruce knowing I'm here."

"Why?"

"Personal errand, in and out, don't have time to stick around for him."

"Mind sharing?" Dick moves over and sits himself down next to Jason, peeling off his own mask. It was only fair. If Jason's unmasking he's going too as well; it's a trust thing. Jason shrugs.

"Maybe later."

"Where are you staying?"

"Roy's."

"So the only person you don't want knowing you're here is Bruce? You know he probably already knows, and if he doesn't he'll figure it out."

"And by then I'll be gone again."

"Where?"

"Does it matter?" Jason looks over to him and Dick averts his eyes and looks down to his feet.

"Guess not."

They fall silent, the sounds of the night city life reaching them on the wind. Dick wants to press the matter, wants to demand Jason tell him where he's going. He hates feeling so distant from him, hated that Jason didn't trust him like he did before he died. It makes Dick feel guilty. If he'd just stayed being Robin, it wouldn't have happened. The comm in his ear goes off and reaches up to turn it back on, listening to the situation. Nothing major, but something to do. He looks to Jason as he pushes himself off the ledge and works his mask back on over his eyes.

"I've gotta go, you're welcome to join if you want?" He doesn't ask it because he thinks Jason will want to come, it's just a reason to have him stick around a little longer. He missed Jason when he was MIA for as long as he was. He just wanted to see Jason more, wanted to get that smile from him.

"I'm good thanks. But are you busy tomorrow night?"

"I've got patrol."

"Same place and time?"

"Sure." Dick nods and offers Jason a smile. Jason returns it, but it isn't genuine. Dick lets out a soft sigh as he climbs back up onto the ledge and takes a leap off the building, easily sticking the landing on the next before he's moving off into the distance. Jason watches him go until he's out of sight before he works his helmet back on and heads off himself.

~  ~    ~  ~~  ~    ~  ~  
+  
~  ~    ~  ~~  ~    ~  ~


	10. Second best

Jason shows up at the exact same time as the night before, as soon as the minute ticks over he's there in front of Dick. He'd be impressed, but instead he's confused. Jason isn't wearing his suit, mask or helmet. He's not even in his brown leather jacket. He's in jeans and a hoodie, meanwhile Dick's in his Nightwing suit, because of course he is, he's meant to be on patrol.

"Where's your suit?"

"You said you had patrol, I never said I was going to join you."

"But you wanted to meet here."

"Yeah because I have to do that errand."

"Do you expect me to help? Because I don't have anything to change into with me. You're awful at communication."

"We learned pretty well to work without it. Did being on a team make you forget that?"

"How was I meant to know?" Dick crosses his arms over his chest and Jason chuckles as he moves in closer to Dick. He stands right in front of him, only a few inches between them. Dick has to look up at him like this, hating the height difference between them.

"You weren't."

"So now what?"

"I'm gonna do my errand and then leave. Shits already packed and everything, I'm that prepared."

"You're leaving already?" Dick's stomach churns at the idea. He hasn't even spent an hour with Jason and already he was going. He didn't want him too, but nor did he want to show that that was the case because Jason would just harass him about it.

"Of course. I only had this one thing to do, why stick around?"

"I dunno. To be with us?" Dick suggests and there's too much hope in his voice. He could track down anyone but Jason, and he knew Jason wanted to keep it that way. Jason smirks.

"Why would I wanna do that?" Jason asks and Dick drops his gaze from Jason's face. Point taken, Jason hated being around them, the only reason he came back was because he needed something and because Tim and Damian were so good at begging, especially the youngest. And like Wally had said, Jason can't say no to him. Dick would bet his life that if it was just him and Bruce, he'd never see Jason again.

"Okay fine then, where are we going?"

"Nowhere."

"What?" Dick frowns up at him and Jason smirks, that stupid smirk Dick hates. He leans down a little his breath fanning over Dick's face.

"C'mon, don't play dumb, surely you can figure it out big bird." Jason hums and Dick steps back.

"No." He mumbles and Jason's smirk turns into one of disbelieve.

"You've got it in your head that I don't care about you."

"You don't." Dick mumbles and Jason raises a thick eyebrow.

"Yes I do."

"The only reason you ever show up is if you need something or because Damian is literately the devil and you can't stay away from that." Dick crosses his arms over his chest and gives Jason a look like he's expecting him to try and argue the point. Jason has an argument; one Dick wasn't expecting.

"Okay yeah I show up when his whining gets beyond bearable but do I ever spend time with him? No. I show up to shut him up, but beside that I don't hang around. Not around them anyway. But you know who I do hang around."

"Roy." Dick tries almost urgently and Jason snorts out a loud laugh.

"I only crash on Roy's couch. C'mon Dick, why are you afraid to say it?"

"You don't care about me." Dick mumbles lowly to himself. Because it was what he believed, what he'd told himself every time Jason was around him. He couldn't get Jason to smile, not like Tim could, he wasn't the one Jason cared about. Jason was just fucking with him, one of his sick jokes that Dick should be used to by now.

For a moment, Jason's features drop, but Dick doesn't see it because he's still looking away from the younger male. He reaches out and grips Dick's hips, pulling him back in the step he'd retreated before he curls his hand under Dick's chin and nudges it up so Dick has to look up at him. Dick stares for a moment, not knowing how to react. This was so unlike Jason that he was clueless as to what to do with himself.

"That's not true okay? Look I stay away but I care about the three of you. I know I don't make it seem like that but I do. And I definitely care about you."

"Pervious actions would state otherwise." Dick mumbles and Jason deflates.

"I know, I'm not good with conveying feelings."

"I've noticed." Dick tries to step back but Jason doesn't let go of his hip and his hand moves to cup the back of his neck. Dick's skin tingles where Jason's rough fingers move across it and his chest feels too tight that he almost can't breathe.

"I thought you had an errand to run." Dick mumbles and Jason smirks again, head tilting to the side.

"And you're having boyfriend problems."

"I don't have a boyfriend."

"And that's the problem."

"What did Roy tell you?"

"Nothing. I'm good at snooping."

"That's illegal as hell."

"What're you gonna do boy wonder, arrest me? Put me in handcuffs? Cause that sounds like a kinky Saturday night."

"It's Tuesday."

"Time isn't real." Jason shrugs and Dick can't help that he smiles and chuckles lightly at that.

"I'm sorry but what does this have to do with your errand?"

"God you're thick. There isn't an errand." Jason rolls his eyes and Dick frowns, his mind trying to click into gear.

"What?"

"You're so cute when you're confused." Jason almost coos and Dick's eyes widen. Jason didn't run around calling him cute. He called Tim cute a lot, but that's only because he knew it pissed him off. He's never called Dick cute before. Jason sees the way it all clicks in Dick's head, a chuckle rumbling low in his chest. Dick tries to pull back again but Jason's hold is strong on his hip and the only way he could get out of this is by actually using some force that he doesn't want to.

"What the hell Jason?" Dick hisses and Jason takes that as his cue, knowing that Dick's put the pieces together. He leans in and captures Dick's lips in his own for no more than two seconds, not even enough time for Dick to react. Then he's pulling away, putting distance between them as Dick's body tenses.

"Y'know you do have my number right? Next time you need a fix skip Conner, I'll give you what you want." Jason smirks and turns on his toes and Dick's left standing there dumfounded.

"You never return my calls." Dick whispers to himself, unsure what to do. That was so not Jason-like of Jason.

~  ~    ~  ~~  ~    ~  ~

It takes three days for Dick to call Jason. Though Jason hadn't expected a call at all if he was completely honest. He was good at clinging to hope these days, despite himself. He's still at Roy's in Blüdhaven, though no one else knows that. Roy was good at keeping his mouth shut and he doesn't have people come over often so it was easy for Jason to stay on the down low. Jason's on Roy's couch when Dick rings him and he lets it almost ring out completely before he answers.

"Dickie bird." Jason mumbles like he was disinterested.

"What the fuck is with you Todd?" Dick spits and Jason smirks. Okay so maybe Dick had been calling non-stop over the past three days but that was beside the point.

"Whatever do you mean?"

"Where are you?"

"You can't answer a question with a question bluebird, it doesn't work like that." Jason smirks but his face falls when there's no response. "Dick?" He pulls his phone back to see Dick's hung up on him. _Rude_. But also concerning. He tries calling Dick back but he doesn't answer. He grits his teeth and curses. Roy isn't home so he can't just leave. He sits up and tries calling Dick again. His phone doesn't even ring. He tuts and fumbles with his phone for a moment before he looks up across the room-

And his gaze meets Dick's from the other side of the window. He's in his Nightwing suit, but has removed his mask. Jason frowns, of course Dick tracked the call. He doesn't move and Dick opens up the window and lets himself in. He looks pissed and something like excitement stirs in the pit of Jason's stomach. Dick marches over to him, looking ready to beat him into a pulp but when he stops in front of Jason his body just goes rigid like now that he's here he doesn't know what to do with himself.

"You already knew I was here didn't you?" Jason asks and Dick nods. "You just wanted to make sure." Again another nod. They watch each other for a moment before Dick's already tense body seems to stiffen more.

"You owe me an explanation, and an apology."

"What am I apologising for?"

"What you did."

"Well I ain't gonna mean it but I'm sorry I kissed you. Happy?"

"Start talking."

"What is there to tell?" Jason snickers and suddenly Dick's in his lap, holding his forearm against his throat. And it infuriates Dick that the smirk on Jason's lips doesn't disappear. In fact, it only seems to grow at Dick's threat.

"I...just fucking explain yourself dammit."

"What? Can't a guy kiss someone?"

"Not his brother."

"We're not brothers Dick. Sorry to say, none of us will be. Especially not me, I'm dead remember?"

"Jason."

"Why do you think I kissed you Dick?"

"I don't know!" Dick deflates and pulls off Jason, rolling off to the side to sit beside him. His elbows come to rest on his knees, holding his face in his hands as he grumbles away to himself.

"Well, why do you usually kiss people?"

"You don't like me! Stop fucking with me Jason!" Dick barks and Jason rolls his eyes.

"I'm not fucking with you Dick."

"You fucking left! You didn't answer my calls, _nothing_. I feel pretty fucked with."

"But not fucked apparently." Jason mumbles and Dick turns to look at him with a flat, annoyed look. Jason's smirk drops and he sits up straighter and turns to face Dick. "What do you want me to say?"

"Why did you stay, you said you were leaving?"

"Because I knew you'd come after me."

"Why couldn't you just tell me what the hell was going on right then and there?"

"Because I had a feeling you'd try and throw me off the roof."

"Jason."

"You keep saying my name."

"Because you're pissing me off!"

"Okay fine, you want an explanation Mr. worst-detective-in-the-world? I like you plain and simple but you're head over heels for that redhead, Flash boy or whatever."

"Kid Flash, but he doesn't go by that anymore."

"I don't know his name."

"Yes you do."

"Well I don't care."

"It's Wally."

"Okay then, you're so invested in _Wallace_ , that you'll live in denial and misery for the rest of your life. He doesn't like you back so get the fuck over him. You're an adult for Christ sakes but you have this childish crush."

"Do you really think it's a crush Jason." Dick sighs and Jason rolls his eyes.

"Oh boo hoo, you fell in love."

"What the hell is your problem?"

"Why can't you let him go?"

"Why does it concern you?"

"I literately just told you." Jason exclaims, dropping his own head into his hands and groaning like he was in physical pain.

"Why can't you let me go?" Dick hisses back and Jason's shoulders sag in defeat.

"You got me there. You're right." He snorts, looking off to the side. "But then again, you're always right aren't you? That's why you're Bruce's favourite."

"Don't say that."

"You know it's true Dick. He'll throw Dami to the sharks before he lets you go."

"Bullshit he would."

"I wouldn't put it past him."

"Stop it Jason. _You're_ acting like a child." Dick counters and Jason tilts his head like he agrees with the point.

"Well you've got me in a box now, so I guess I should go. You'll have to stick around until Roy gets home."

"You're not going anywhere." Dick grabs hold of Jason's arm when he goes to move away and tugs him back down onto the couch. "We have to talk about this or something."

"What is there to talk about?" Jason grumbles and Dick looks down at his lap and bites his lip, shrugging his shoulders.

"I don't know."

"Exactly, so let me go so I can leave, got shit to be doing anyway."

"No you don't."

"What do you know?"

"Stay, please."

"Why?"

"I miss having you around."

"Now who's lying." Jason snorts and Dick groans.

"I'm not lying. Look, I...I'll make a deal with you."

"Okay, spill you've caught my interest."

"You stay here in Blüdhaven, but at mine, not here, I won't tell Bruce you're here." Dick pauses for a moment and Jason considers it.

"Go on."

"I can't just get over Wally. But maybe I can get into you."

"I'm listening."

"Impress me, I don't know prove to me that you're not just doing this to fuck with me and we'll see."

"Like, take you out on a date?"

"I...um..." Dick trails off. That wasn't exactly what he was thinking.

"I can do that." Jason confirms with a nod and Dick looks back up to him with wide eyes.

"Okay." He looks down again and worries his lip between his teeth. He just really wanted a reason for Jason to stay. They're silent for a moment before Dick looks back up to Jason, assessing him. Jason watches him in turn. Dick shuffles forward and makes a small noise in the back of his throat. "Can we uh...I wanna kiss you again."

"One, you didn't kiss me, two, I thought you wanted me to impress you, and three I thought it was 'just Wally'." Jason lists off, raising an eyebrow but he looks amused and not like he wants to argue the point, he's just making his own.

"I know. But...you tasted good."

"Like cigarettes, alcohol, gun power and sweat? That's what most people say."

"I dunno, I didn't get to really take it in." Dick shifts and Jason lets him straddle his waist again. They cup each other's faces and lean in. The kiss is only a little rough and they pull away after only a moment. Jason opens his eyes in the slightest and watches as Dick licks his lips.

"What about now?"

"Cigarettes yes, but that's all I'm getting." He leans back in and kisses Jason again. The younger of the two accepts and returns the gesture, running his tongue out to swipe past Dick's when he parts his lips. Dick pulls back again with a hum. "Raspberry?"

"One of Roy's ciders."

"It tastes good on you."

"Thanks."

"You're a really good kisser." Dick mumbles almost breathlessly and Jason chuckles with a smirk.

"I know."

"Smug much."

"Everyone tells me the same thing Dickie."

"Shut up."

"Make me." And Dick does. He moves back in, eyes falling closed again as he licks into Jason's mouth. And for the first time in months, Wally isn't on his mind and his body feels relaxed. Maybe Jason was right. He needed to let go of Wally and move on, and maybe he could come to like Jason, there wasn't much room to argue when he was hot and tastes sweet like he did.

And when Roy gets home he sees them through the window before he opens it, making out on his couch and decides to hang out on the roof until Dick leaves. He makes a point not to say anything, least Jason take off with his head.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is late I'm in the final few weeks of year 12 and it's been a chaotic nightmare


	11. Undead

Dick freaks out a little when he wakes up and there's someone sitting on the end of his bed. But he easily recognizes the scars across his bare back and relaxes until the smell of nicotine fills his nose.

"Are you fucking serious? Get the fuck outside if you're gonna smoke." He hisses and Jason turns to look over his shoulder at him. After a lot of arguing Jason had convinced Dick to let him sleep in his bed with him and not on the couch. Dick won't admit aloud that having someone wrapped around him helps him sleep at night.

"Good morning to you too."

"Get out!"

"Okay okay, sheesh. Roy lets me smoke whenever and wherever I want." Jason taunts and Dick makes a small sound as he falls back against his bed, ready to go back to sleep.

"That's nice. Maybe you should consider dating him then." Dick mumbles and Jason gets up and moves over to the window, opening it up and leaning out on the windowsill.

"He's a good fuck, but I'm not sure if you're aware but his relationship potential isn't the best."

"Why does everyone fuck Roy?"

"Because he has low standards."

"He's not even hot."

"Of course you'd say that." Jason chuckles, looking over his shoulder to Dick as he lifts his head from where it's resting against the bed.

"What does that even mean?"

"You like Wally fucking West, of course you don't like Roy."

"See, you do know his name. And it's not just about the looks okay?"

"Because his sense of humour is so good."

"It matches mine." Dick shrugs and Jason rolls his eyes and looks back out over the city, the smoke of his cigarette swirling up into his face. Dick feels content to fall asleep how he is, even though he's bending his spine at a weird uncomfortable angle. But the sound of the window clicking closed catches his attention and he cracks one eye open and watches as Jason comes over to the bed, sitting himself down in front of Dick's face.

"Do you have plans tomorrow night?" Jason asks and a small smile creeps across Dick's lips.

"What if I do?"

"Cancel them, because I'm not rebooking."

"Where are we going?"

"I don't usually tell my date where I'm taking them, keeping them on their toes is far more rewarding."

"I'll tell Bruce I have to attend something then."

"You were going to be meeting up with Bruce?" Jason asks and Dick can hear the slight waver to his voice like he was worried. Dick wouldn't tell Bruce about his whereabouts, but he gets why it'd worry him.

"Every second Thursday. Unless otherwise required or told." Dick mumbles into the sheets. Jason nods and clicks his tongue.

"I can change it-"

"No it's fine. I'll meet up with him Friday." Dick pushes himself up and offers Jason a small smile as he stretches, yawning almost silently. Jason's eyes rake over his naked chest, taking in his scars, some familiar, others newer and unknown to Jason. Dick's hair is sticking up all over the place and Jason can't help but smile at how cute Dick looked when he was tired. He leans over toward Dick, intending on pressing a quick kiss to his lips. Dick turns his head and holds his hand against Jason's chest with a chuckle.

"I don't kiss my date before the night."

"What about yesterday?"

"Free pass." Dick groans as he gets himself out of his bed, stretching again, standing on his toes to crack the knuckles in them before he pads off to the bathroom. Jason pouts after him, but so far this was turning out in his favour. He just had to play his cards right and maybe he could steal Dick's heart and rub it in Wally's face when all was said and done. That would be a feat worth having.

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Dick grits his teeth and a groan slips past his lips. Wally looks up at him with a cocked brow, smirking a little at how riled up Dick was.

"Do you need a moment?" Wally asks and Dick shakes his head.

He holds up his phone again and gets rid of the message. He was meant to be just hanging out with Wally because they'd organised this a few days ago. But Jason wouldn't stop texting him. He'd obviously planned out something for he and Dick but Dick had gone and told him he had to meet up with the redhead. Jason had tried to argue the point, stating that there was no way Dick could get over him if he kept hanging around. He'd argued that he wasn't going to just ditch his friendship with Wally for him.

"Which bat-baby?" Wally asks and Dick wonders how he always knows it's one of them.

"Jason."

"He lives hey?"

"Apparently."

"Didn't know he liked showing you this much attention." Wally chuckles when Dick's phone buzzes again. Dick groans and quickly reads the text from his lock screen.

**_Jay :- We could be doing something productive y'know?_ **

"Me neither." Dick sighs and holds the button down on his phone and shuts it off. No one important is going to try and get hold of him and Jason will live if he gets ignored.

"So, do you have anything planned tomorrow? I know you've got a Bat meeting tomorrow night." Wally asks. Dick's stomach flops a little.

"I uh, I'm going out tomorrow." Dick shrugs and it feels wrong saying that to Wally. He always worked around being able to spend time with Wally. After all, spending time with Wally was all that Dick really wanted to do. He hated to admit it but Jason was right, he is in far too deep.

"Out?" Wally asks like he doesn't believe him. And Dick can't blame him, he doesn't usually just go out.

"Yeah."

"Like with someone?"

"I'm meeting up with the dead." Dick shrugs with a small chuckle. If Wally puts together that Dick is meeting up with Jason, he doesn't say anything about it. Even if he does figure out that Jason is in town, he's not going to go around telling people, and Dick trusts him not to tell Bruce.

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"I'm back." Dick huffs when he gets back to his apartment. He works off his shoes and jacket lazily, leaving them in the hall and on the back of the couch. There's no noise from the kitchen and so he moves through to his bedroom. Jason's sat on his bed, leaning up against the headboard flipping through a magazine that wasn't Dick's.

"Hey." Dick smiles softly over to Jason. The younger male doesn't react, continuing to flip through the magazine slowly without even paying Dick any mind. Dick frowns and moves over to him, sitting himself down on the edge of the bed. "You okay?"

Still Jason doesn't answer and Dick's concerned look turns into one of annoyance. He tilts his head to the side and crosses his arms over his chest. "Um, hello?"

"Yes Grayson?"

"Oh you are capable of speech. For a moment there I was worried you'd forgotten how to work that tongue of yours."

"Sorry, does being ignored bother you?" Jason finally averts his eyes from his magazine to look up at Dick. He rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

"You were making it really hard to hold a conversation with him." Dick defends and Jason drops his reading material into his lap and crosses his arms over his chest.

"I said I was going to impress you, doesn't a good boyfriend text you constantly to make sure you don't forget they love you?"

"First off, we're not boyfriends. Secondly you don't love me and thirdly no, constant texts are the worst. Especially when they all suggest sexual intercourse."

"We could be boyfriends. We're 'kinda' boyfriends." Jason leans back against the headboard, resting his arms behind his head as he smirks up at Dick.

"I hate you."

"No you don't otherwise I wouldn't be in your bed."

Dick's mouth falls open to respond but he quickly closes it and rethinks his response. "I never hated you."

"Don't get sappy on me now."

"I get that way when I'm tired."

"You must be tired all the time then."

"Only when I'm around you."

"Because I'm so exhausting." Jason dramatically sighs and Dick cracks a small smile.

"You are."

"Get in here and nap then Big Bird."

"I can't just go to sleep Jase. I've got shit to do."

"No you don't. Sleep is important for growth."

"I'm not gonna grow anymore."

"Pity."

"You're an asshole." Dick groans but he does remove his shirt and crawl up the bed, dropping down less than gracefully on his stomach and burying his face into his pillow with a content sigh. He relaxes a little more when he feels Jason's hand run through his hair, down his neck before coming to rest on his back where he rubs small circles into the bare muscles there.

"You love me." Jason chuckles and Dick has to bite his tongue so that he doesn't say that he does.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay hi so sorry about this ugh. Okay so um I finish school tomorrow (beside final exams) yay! However, we're coming into November which is Nanowrimo. I didn't plan to do this story for that and so this is going on hiatus or hold, whatever you want to call it for next month. Sorry, but that's just what's happening. I'll see you all in December I guess, enjoy Halloween you sinful saplings.

**Author's Note:**

> {Before anyone says anything this is my universe using DC's characters. I make the rules here and so anything I say is not incorrect. Sorry to be so blunt and or rude about the matter but I just wanted to be clear on that. This is fanfiction, heavy on the fan and fiction part of that statement. Fan meaning it's what I want, fiction meaning it ain't real, even to something that already isn't real. Any comments being negative toward my story will be deleted and if the comment is super nasty or if the user continues to persist in their negative comments I will block/mute them. I don't want to do it but I will if I have to. If you don't like my story do not continue reading . Simple. Thank you to those who understand and enjoy the mess of my writing.}


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